A Story About a Girl who Betrayed her Loved One, Only to Spend her Days in Redemption, Regret, and Despair - Chapter 4
Chapter 4 – Conclusion
My voice does not reach Fuyu-kun.
It’s because I broke his trust, my words cannot be conveyed clearly to him.
When I was having an affair with Yuu-kun, I was addicted to the immoral feeling of betraying Fuyu-kun.
The thick black pleasure was a fresh feeling, and I was immersed in it like a fool.
I did it as if to fill the gap in my heart that had been left open after Fuyu-kun’s absence.
In the recorded videos that Fuyu-kun held, I had said many things that hurt him.
There was no truth in the words I had said to Yuu-kun. I just said them randomly to make myself feel good, but Fuyu-kun heard them all.
My careless words became a blade sharper than anything else and hurt Fuyu-kun.
I desperately told him it was all a lie.
But he doesn’t believe me.
My words are not to be trusted because he no longer trusts me.
Once again, I continue to sit and wait in his yard today in order to regain Fuyu-kun’s trust.
I have to prove with time and perseverance that I really love Fuyu-kun.
That’s all I can do now.
?
“Get the hell out of here, you earthbound spirit.”
“……”
Matsurika swears at me as she waters the flowers in the garden.
It must’ve been very unpleasant for her to see a stranger always hanging out in front of her house.
I am aware of it, but I had no intention to move even for a moment until she calls the police.
“Then why don’t you just submit that video to the police?”
I gave Matsurika the video of me killing Yuudai by inflicting maximum pain on him. Of course, I told her to show it to Fuyu-kun. She must’ve seen it herself, too.
If I get caught by the police, I will be imprisoned for more than 180 days. It’s painful, but I’m fine with it as long as it give Fuyu-kun some relief.
“It doesn’t count since you killed him in an experimental building.”
“…That’s not what happened. I told you that it’s my lover in that footage, didn’t I? Did you show it to Fuyu-kun?”
“I can’t let my Darling see that.”
“…Show it to him. In order to make Fuyu-kun believe me, I made Yuu-kun suffer before killing him..”
“You really are crazy. You’re as selfish as my mother.”
“Never mind that.”
Matsurika stopped talking to me and went back inside the house.
Everyday she swears at me for sitting by the front door, but for some reason she doesn’t force me to leave.
I opened the handmade album I brought from home.
There are three of them, and they are my precious treasures. They contained many pictures of my precious memories with Fuyu-kun.
Just looking at the first photo made my eyes burn and tears well up in my eyes.
I can now only see Fuyu-kun’s smile in the pictures.
Everyday I am here shivering while waiting for Fuyu-kun, except for when I have to go to the restroom.
After a staying like that for a while, I return home after it gets dark.
Such were the days of redemption.
?
Every week, Fuyu-kun and a dolled up Matsurika came out of the house.
Matsurika, who I thought that would never get along with Fuyu-kun, was surprsingly faring well with him.
They are going on a date again today.
“Take care.”
I sent off Fuyu-kun with a smile on my face.
Fuyu-kun looked at me with a sideways glance and went out with Matsurika without saying a word.
I was happy to feel like his newly wedded bride, even if it’s just for a moment.
The thought of them going out on a date made me feel gloomy, though.
“I have to suffer… A lot.”
I’ll suffer many times more than I made Fuyu-kun suffer.
It’s the least I can do to redeem myself.
That day, I waited until midnight, but Fuyu-kun and Matsurika never came home.
Although a painter gave an image of an indoor person, Fuyu-kun often went out to various places to take pictures as reference in order to make good paintings.
While he’s at it, he also loved stopping at an inn and take it easy. He often brings me along too.
We would relax, taking in the beautiful scenery. Taking an occasional picture, going out at night to gaze at the stars, and finally returning back to the inn.
Just thinking about it makes my heart ache.
I wonder if Fuyu-kun is now doing it with Matsurika.
I shook my head and let the bad thoughts fade away.
Matsurika has a rough way with words, and it hasn’t been that long since they met.
She would never do something like that yet.
But if they continue to stay together, it’s only a matter of time before that happens.
A chill that frozed me to the core. The feeling of nausea. I held it down desperately.
I held the album tightly in my arms while looking up at the starry sky, and let out a tear.
Day in, day out. Day in, day out. This is how I live my days in regret.
It’s self-centered and self-gratified. It’s the punishment that I inflicted on myself.
?
Winter passed. Spring came. Summer came. Autumn came. Finally, Winter came again.
Matsurika, who saw me as a nuisance, didn’t try to get rid of me and instead only swore at me. I was never caught by the police.
I stayed by the front door for a long time, greeting “Take care.” and “Welcome home.” to Fuyu-kun.
Fuyu-kun ignored me without saying a word, but sometimes he would look at me, and that was the only thing that made me happy.
Before I go to Fuyu-kun’s house, I always wash my face and cleaned myself up at least a little.
The reflection of myself in the mirror has changed a lot in a year.
My lips had lost their moisture and become chapped. My hair, which Fuyu-kun used to brush for me, is now shaggy. My cheeks are skinny and gaunt. My appearance, which I was proud of, is now a shadow of its former self.
Today, I take the album on my desk and head for Fuyu-kun’s house next door.
In just one year, my three albums, my treasures, are now in tatters.
No matter how hard I tried to stop it, my hands would shake. And despite my efforts, my tears would flow and stain them.
I spend my days in despair, always recalling my memories of Fuyu-kun.
I have three albums.
To be exact, the third album is not yet filled, so I guess I have two and three-quarters of them.
A year has passed, but the third album remains unfilled.
It’s because I have no more new memories of Fuyu-kun.
I have no choice but to dwell on the past memories.
I cannot make new memories with Fuyu-kun.
I felt like I was being crushed by despair.
But I must endure.
The despair that I have now is nothing compared to what I gave to Fuyu-kun.
?
[Okaa-san, are you okay?]
One day I was spoken to by a girl I didn’t know.
She looks somewhat like me, and I think her atmosphere is similar to Fuyu-kun’s.
[… Haruka?]
I knew her name even though this was the first time I’ve seen her.
[It’s going to be alright, Okaa-san.
I’m sure Otou-san will forgive you someday.]
Somehow, her outline seemed to be blurred. I touched her cheek to confirm her presence.
[Okaa-san’s hands are warm…]
I instinctively knew that Haruka was my daughter.
She must’ve came to cheer me up in my moment of weakness.
[I’m sorry, Haruka… Thank you…]
Haruka embraced me as I was sitting down and patted my head with her small hands.
It was so warm that tears welled up in my eyes.
[Okaa-san, I love you…!]
With a shy smile at the end, Haruka’s figure turned into light.
The light spilled out from my hand.
[Wai-]
I tried to grab her, but I failed.
“Haruka!!”
“Haruka? Who’s that?”
It was calm voice.
I looked around for the owner of the voice. A familiar woman was there.
It was Matsurika.
“Where, am I?”
I asked Matsurika and looked around to grasp the situation.
“This is the site of your infidelity. It’s a little dusty, so bear with it.”
I was sleeping in my bedroom with Fuyu-kun, a place that I tainted with my infidelity.
As soon as I realized the situation, my body felt heavy.
“You were lying on the ground in the porch, you know. You really are a pain in the a?s?s?. Also, your family’s not home.”
When she said that to me, I realized the severity of my symptoms for the first time.
A cough, a headache that made me feel faint, and a high fever. Why didn’t I notice?
“If you can walk, go to the hospital. I’ll call a car for you.”
“It’s fine… I’ll rest at home..”
Matsurika looked at me like I’m a nuisance, but she took good care of me regardless.
She already changed my clothes before I knew it.
I tried to leave Fuyu-kun’s house, thinking that I shouldn’t cause him any more trouble.
But instead, I fell down due to my light headedness and my body doesn’t move as it should.
“Would you look at that.”
Matsurika lended me her shoulder, I am forced to lift myself up.
Eventually, she pushed me into the car she called and took me to a hospital.
“Hey, stop making my Darling sad.
Either kill yourself or find a new man.”
“…… I’m sorry. But… I want to be with Fuyu-kun, even if it’s through a wall…”
Matsurika looked sad despite of her reproachful tone, and it remained strongly in my memory. Even though I was vaguely conscious of it.
And when I heard that Fuyu-kun was sad, I was happy even though it was wrong.
?
One day, Matsurika told me that she’s pregnant.
The despair I felt was indescribable, I begged her to tell me that it was a lie.
But Matsurika’s stomach was slightly swollen, and I realized that it was true.
“Give it up already… Like my Darling said, just look forward and live your life as you see fit.”
“No way… I refuse… More… I have to suffer more…”
“I don’t really care, but you’ve suffered enough..”
Holding the tattered album in my chest, I cried in front of Matsurika who was making a troubled face.
I wanted to give birth to Fuyu-kun’s child.
I wanted to give birth to Haruka.
But I couldn’t do it.
It’s all my fault.
A single mistake can destroy everything.
Haruka, the little girl I met in my dream.
I felt like my daughter was disappearing before my eyes.
“Uuuuu…Gueee..U u..uuu”
“Oi Oi, you okay? You’re a real pain in the a?s?s?…seriously…”
I couldn’t stop my body from shaking, so much so that it was almost laughable.
Matsurika rubs my back, and I let out a stream of gastric juice.
I tried to calm my ragged breathing, but I couldn’t do so.
I vomit up the contents in my stomach, which are mixed with blood, and I lost consciousness.
The next time I woke up, I am on the bed in my house.
“I made you some porridge, eat it.
Matsurika said so, as she tries to feed some porridge into my mouth.
I shook my head and refused, saying I had no appetite, but it was no use.
“You just vomited up a lot of stomach juice and blood! You better eat before you start stalking me!”
What’s up with that. I don’t get it.
With a tearful smile on my face, I was forced to eat porridge.
She gave me some over the counter medicine and water and put me on the bed.
“I’m heading off. Take care.”
With these words, Matsurika left the room.
I secretly let out a tear, since it had been a long time since someone had been kind to me. Even though it’s not Fuyu-kun.
Matsurika’s kindness. The feeling of being saved by her warm heart, and the despair of losing the right to bear Fuyu-kun’s first child.
I didn’t care that my pillow was wet with tears and snot. Throughout that day, I kept shedding tears with mixed emotions.
?
When I woke up, I felt the presence of someone nearby and moved only my eyes to look around.
“Fuyu-kun…?”
“Good morning, Sere.”
Is this a dream or a hallucination? I don’t know.
Someone I love, who I’ve hurt, was sitting besides me.
It could be that I, who was crushed by despair, was seeing a hallucination that is convenient for me.
“I asked Auntie to let me in. Sorry I woke you up.”
“Eh..Aa.. It’s fine, really…”
“Here’s an energy drink. I also left some jelly and pudding in the fridge.”
“U-uhm.. Thank you…”
I took the drink and read it’s ingredients without thinking too hard about it. My thoughts wandering around in a daze.
I wanted to say something, but no words came to mind.
The first thing I thought I should say was an apology.
“I’m sorry, Fuyu-kun… for always staying at your porch…”
Fuyu-kun didn’t say anything.
I couldn’t say anything more, the silent space continued for a while.
Fuyu-kun being Fuyu-kun, was silent. He doesn’t seem to be waiting for me to speak.
Just when I was beggining to think that it would be better if we could stay together without talking, Fuyu-kun opened his mouth.
“Matsurika told you, didn’t she? About the child?”
“… Yes, I heard.”
I wonder if he will tell me to stay away.
My presence will be a bad influence on their children in the future.
“I’m happy now.
There have been many hard times.
I can say that I still feel pain ocassionally, but I believe that together with Matsurika, I can overcome it.”
“Fuyu-kun…”
Fuyu-kun looks at me in the eye.
It’s been a long time since our eyes met like this.
“That’s why… Sere…
I want you to live your life looking forward too.
I won’t ask you to forget about me anymore, but don’t let the past hold you back.”
“Fuyu, kun.. Hic…. Ueeeeee..”
My tearducts loosened up, tears fell down without stopping.
Fuyu-kun’s kind words are spreading through my heart.
Fuyu-kun’s prayer.
Fuyu-kun’s wish.
I wanted to grant it.
But I can’t forget.
I can’t look forward.
With my life, I will prove that I will never love anyone but Fuyu-kun.
That’s my purpose in life now.
?
Matsurika gave birth to her and Fuyu-kun’s child after ten months of pregnancy.
It was a girl, her name is Yuzurika.
“Here, hold her. I won’t forgive you if you try to kill her.”
“There’s no way I would do that…”
With mixed feelings, I sat down on the porch and hold Yuzurika in my arms.
Even though Fuyu-kun told me to look forward to life, I didn’t stop coming to his house.
Fuyu-kun didn’t say anything, though he looked a little surprised.
More than that, I was dumbfounded at Matsurika.
How could she let me, the woman who killed Yuu-kun so horribly for my own reasons hold her baby?
Yuzurika, who looked up at me from my arms, somehow looked very cute.
I wonder if Haruka will be like her if she was born.
“Ugh, you’re crying again.”
Matsurika pointed out. I finally realized that I was crying.
Tears drip down from my chin and wet Yuzurika’s cheeks.
“Sorry.. I’m sorry…”
?
I was looking up at the sky from a fixed position today.
I opened my album from time to time as I spend my time in a daze, soaking in the memories.
“Hey, Sere.
You’re doing it again today..”
“Hello, Kana-chan.”
Kana-chan sometimes came and talked to me.
She seems to do so out of interest, not out of pity. She said I was a valuable interview subject.
“Ah, I forgot to tell you.
Congratulations on your marriage. Be happy.”
“Ahaha, thank you?”
Motomiya Kanade, who was an accomplice of the murder I committed, got married a few days ago and successfully changed her last name to Uta. She’s now Uta Kanade.
Even though Kana-chan’s parents were wealthy, she did not throw a wedding.
Kana-chan’s attitude was the same as always despite being a witness to the murder I committed a year ago. Sometimes I feel scared of her abnormality.
While we were sitting in the porch talking side by side, Matsurika opened the glass door and came.
“Sere, Kanade, I’m going to prepare the barbecue.”
While saying that, she started to take out the utensils to use for barbecue from the storage room.
“If you don’t mind me eating a feast, I’ll help you.”
“We’re going to have a barbecue because you’re here.”
“As expected of Matsurika! So kind!”
The high spirited Kana-chan helped out on setting up the barbecue.
“Sere, what about your appetite? Are you feeling all right?”
Fuyu-kun came out from the back of the room holding Yuzurika in his arms.
“I’m fine. Today we’re going to have a feast…”
After the preparations are finished, the four of us sat around the stove, talking about trivial things, and eating meat.
Matsurika and Fuyu-kun couldn’t take their eyes off Yuzurika, so one of them always leaves the circle to stay with Yuzurika.
It was kind of fun. A little happiness, I think I was able to smile naturally.
And from that day on, my daily life changed drastically.
?
As usual, when I came to Fuyu-kun’s house, Matsurika came out of the doorway and called me.
“Come in.”
“Eh?”
“I said, come inside.”
“Why?”
“It’s cold outside! I won’t help you if you get pneumonia again.”
Matsurika looks rough and has a foul mouth, but she’s very kind at heart.
It’s not something that I only learned today, but…
“But still, Fuyu-kun…”
The two of them are newlyweds, right?
Since they’re newlyweds, shouldn’t she stop me from stalking them in the first place?
“My Darling said yes. Now get in here.”
“…. Okay.”
I said “Excuse me for the disturbance” as I stepped into Fuyu-kun’s house for the first time in a while.
When I entered, I met Fuyu-kun in the hallway wearing a work apron.
He looked at me with a faint smile on his face.
“Good morning, Sere.”
“Good morning, Fuyu-kun… Is it fine?”
“Matsurika said so… It’s fine. You can stay.”
With his permission, I went into the living room and sat down on the sofa.
I look around the house suspiciously.
The house has not changed much compared to the past, but there are some details that have changed. I feel a little sad.
I got into the kotatsu and plopped down.
I don’t feel at home.
I was glad that Fuyu-kun had let me into his house, but in the end I didn’t know what to do.
Nervous and anxious, I sweat badly.
I don’t want to be kicked out again. ….
Despite my anxiety, life inside the house was surprisingly peaceful.
I am entrusted with taking care of Yuzurika, cleaning, cooking, and so on… It’s just a normal life.
After finishing dinner, when the sun had set and it was dark outside, I greeted Matsurika and Fuyu-kun goodbye as I go home.
“Stay the night.”
“Eh?”
“You’re coming back tomorrow anyway, right? Then stay the night, it’s a hassle.”
“… Fuyu-kun?”
Not knowing how to react to Matsurika’s suggestion, I looked at Fuyu-kun with a troubled expression.
Smiling quietly, Fuyu-kun told me.
“If you like, you can stay here.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
I decided to stay at Fuyu-kun’s house.
I took a bath, changed into the nightgown I brought from home, and played with Yuzurika by pecking her cheeks.
When it was time for bed, Fuyu-kun went to Yuzurika’s bedroom. This is to cope with Yuzurika’s night crying.
Matsurika and I went upstairs to sleep in the bedroom.
As soon as I enteedr the bedroom, I had a flashback of the times I did it with Yuu-kun.
I felt sick, but not unbearably so.
It was fortunate that I bought the bed before I was kicked out of the house.
I picked the size of the bed in order for me and Fuyu-kun to sleep comfortably together, it even has room with Matsurika added in the mix.
“Come on, let’s go to bed.”
“Okay…”
I get into bed and stared at the dimly lit ceiling, imagining a vague future.
But no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t figure out what would happen.
“Hey, Matsurika…”
“What?”
“Why did you decide to let me in?”
“… Because you always get sick.”
“Sorry…”
“It’s okay, I don’t care.”
Then the conversation stopped and the room became quiet.
As I was gradually getting used to being alone with Matsurika and dozing off, she suddenly spoke to me.
“You…”
“Eh?”
“You should do your best to make up with Darling.”
“Make up?”
“I shouldn’t have said it like that. What I mean is to get back together with him.”
It was so out of the blue, I didn’t understand.
“Why?”
“Fuyuki and I are lovey dovey, but Darling has always been worried about you.”
“……”
“Stop beating around the bush already, it’s getting annoying.”
“Are you okay with that, Matsurika? I wouldn’t like it if I were you.”
I was grateful for the offer, but Matsurika was too lenient on me that I am reluctant to accept, even though I wanted it so badly.
“You’re so sick in the head, I can’t even feel jealous.”
“That’s terrible…”
“I’ll take care on my end, so you take care of yours.
Let’s end this current s?h?i?t?t?y arrangement.”
Matsurika said so as she turned her back.
I guessed that this was a sign that the conversation was over.
I was perplexed and could not sleep at all, thinking about the future.
?
Since then, I have been living with Matsurika, Fuyu-kun, and Yuzurika.
Although I, a foreign contaminant, was definitely different and a clear distortion to the Obi household, the days passed by without any particular incident.
Fuyu-kun seems to no longer suffer from the flashbacks, and he seems to have healed from the wounds in his heart, he smiling more and more as he used to do.
I was very happy and could not thank Matsurika enough for that.
When Matsurika dealt with Yuzurika’s crying at night, I slept in the bed with Fuyu-kun.
When I held Fuyu-kun’s hand fearfully, he put his strength into it softly.
“Fuyu-kun…”
I don’t know how many times I cried. The warmth of Fuyu-kun’s hand is enough to make me burst into tears.
Time and time again, I asked Matsurika and Fuyu-kun for their permission.
I asked Matsurika if I could touch Fuyu-kun, and Fuyu-kun if I could touch him.
“Ugh, so annoying! Just kiss him already!” Matsurika said as she yelled at me. “It’s okay. I’m fine now.” Fuyu-kun said so softly.
It seems that the conversation had already taken place without my knowledge, and both Matsurika and Fuyu-kun accepted me without saying anything.
The four of us, Yuzurika included, went on a trip together.
The three of us slept together while holding hands, I hugged Fuyu-kun from behind, and eventually Matsurika became affectionate with me, so I hugged her too.
Little by little, I got used to life with the four of us.
Looking at my tattered photo albums, I prayed every day.
I prayed that this daily life would never end.
There were times when I was afraid that Fuyu-kun might suddenly abandon me one day in a grand plan of revenge against me.
There were times when I was distressed to see Fuyu-kun flirting with Matsurika.
When I became emotionally unstable, Matsurika often noticed and helped me a lot.
I think she is a really caring woman. She is so perfect that I envy her.
One day, Matsurika encouraged me to kiss Fuyu-kun.
Fuyu-kun accepted it without any resistance. I am so happy, very happy, that I start to cry.
Fuyu-kun lowers his eyebrows a little and asks me a question.
“Do you really have no regrets, Sere?”
“I’ve always regretted… For cheating on you, for hurting Fuyu-kun… All this time…”
I looked at Matsurika who was holding Yuzurika.
“Matsurika may not like it, but I want to be with the two of you- no, the three of you, forever… I beg you…”
I bowed my head and begged them to continue our current distorted relationship.
“That’s fine. Darling, stop being gloomy from now on. Otherwise, I’ll hit you.”
“Don’t worry…”
“Sere too, the next time you have an affair, I’ll shatter you to pieces.”
“I won’t, I promise.”
I’ll never give up on this happiness again.
?
There were a few things in my new life that were out of my control.
I couldn’t go out alone anymore.
Whenever I went outside alone, within 30 minutes I would start to shake and feel nauseous, and then I freeze up.
I can’t help but imagine that Fuyu-kun will suspect me of cheating on him, even though Fuyu-kun wouldn’t do such a thing. Everytime this happens I had a mental breakdown.
Whenever I go outside, I have to be with Matsurika or Fuyu-kun.
I somehow felt that this was probably a disease that could not be cured any time soon.
Fuyu-kun tries to treat me and Matsurika equally.
However, Fuyu-kun tends to give priority to Matsurika unconsciously.
To be conscious of treating us equally means that we can’t be equal unless Fuyu-kun is conscious of doing it.
When I saw Fuyu-kun unconsciously giving priority to Matsurika, I often felt a sense of hopelessness and became depressed.
Matsurika hugs me and soothes me whenever I get gloomy, even though it must’ve been so troublesome for her to do so.
I really can’t thank her enough.
“Thank you, Matsurika…”
“What’s with you.”
“If it weren’t for Matsurika, I’d probably be dead by now.”
“My mother wanted you to die.”
“Eh, but why?”
I don’t remember mistreating Matsurika’s mother. I haven’t even met her before.
“I felt sorry for you, so I decided not to let you die.”
“I don’t understand…”
“It’s okay if you don’t know.”
She patted my head and went to Yuzurika.
I tilted my head, not understanding what she meant, but I thanked her again in my mind.
?
Three years have passed since Fuyu-kun and I got back together, and I finally had a baby.
Of course, it’s Fuyu-kun’s child.
I was at the peak of my happiness, carrying the child of the man I love in my belly.
I had told Fuyu-kun in advance that the name of our child would be [Haruka].
Fuyu-kun nodded his head and said it was a good name, and I spent my time looking forward to Haruka’s birth.
I hugged Yuzurika, who had grown up so much.
“Yuzurika. You will have a little sister soon, so be a good Onee-chan, okay?”
“?”
Yuzurika’s expression was so lovely that I stroked her small head.
Her eyes narrowed and a happy expression appeared on her face.
“Get ready quickly, Sere.
Today’s pretty busy.”
“Sorry, I’m coming.”
Matsurika tries her best to correct her pronouns so that it won’t be a bad influence to Yuzurika, but so far it’s not going well. [1]
When Matsurika took me for a routine checkup, I was told a shocking fact.
[It’s a boy.]
This is what people mean when they say their eyes had gone completely black.
I was carrying a boy.
I had never doubted that Haruka would be born.
But the little girl who encouraged me in my dream was not here.
I slumped my shoulders and grieved.
?
My heart was not at peace when I went into labor, though my first child was born without a hitch.
Because Haruka sounded like a girl’s name, Fuyu-kun changed the kanji in Haruka’s name from Haruka(??) to Haruka(??) to make it more masculine.
My baby is tiny and adorable. My Haruka.
I was disappointed that it was not Haruka(??), but Haruka(??) is definitely cute and adorable.
But, at the depths of my soul I couldn’t accept him.
Even though he was my son by blood, I felt that it was a terrible thing to love a man other than Fuyu-kun.
Every time I hold Haruka in my arms, I am struck with unbearable fear and despair.
I love and fear Haruka as he slept in my arms.
I told myself that he was my son and Fuyu-kun would not think anything of it, but my body could not accept Haruka.
Eventually, my body started to get sick, and cursing my fragile spirit, I entrusted Haruka to Matsurika.
“Not only you were a terrible fiancée, you’re also a s?h?i?t?t?y mother…”
“…Yes. That’s right.. Really.. I’m the worst..”
“Sigh… I don’t really care. You should get over it someday, that s?h?i?t?t?y disease of yours..”
“Yeah…”
Matsurika understood my abnormality even though she swore a lot, and raised Haruka as if he were her own child.
Perhaps because Yuzurika had Matsurika as a mother, she was already looking after Haruka like an older sister.
Eventually, Haruka stopped looking at me. I desperately hugged Fuyu-kun, wallowing from deep sadness and regret.
“Sere…”
“I’m sorry, Fuyu-kun… Haruka… Everything, everything is my fault… Everything…”
“Don’t cry, Sere.
We’re going to be fine.”
The day when I can truly say that I’m happy from the bottom of my heart will probably never come.
I will always suffer from something, despair, sometimes be overcome with regret, and will keep on apologizing to my beloved son and husband for a long, long time.
I have committed the worst kind of betrayal, and I think such a life is all I can lead.
But still, I am happy.
I have Fuyu-kun, Matsurika, and Yuzurika next to me, as well as my beloved child who was growing up in their warmth.
With this happiness in my heart, I can overcome any hardships and live brightly today.
My third album was finally filled with the many pictures I have taken of Haruka.
Holding the tattered album to my heart, I whisper my love to Haruka who was sleeping.
“I love you, Haruka, Fuyu-kun… Good night.”
TL Note
[1] Most of the time Matsurika stutters (she uses Ore[??] then corrects herself to Watashi[?]) when talking. She’s holding back her tomboy trait in favor of being feminine. I don’t know how to TL that so I left it out.
Haruka (Girl) (??) (Clear Spring)
Haruka (MC of main series) (??) (Sunfire)
This story is a prequel of this series