I Will Never Submit to Miss Grim Reaper - Chapter 119
Chapter 119: Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai!
More than ten minutes later, as I, cleaning cat fur in the lobby on the first floor, saw the two guys who had just left come back. At this point, they had already changed into some strange uniforms, I don’t know from which “Kamen Rider” this is, but they looked very cool.
I don’t know much about Kamen Rider, and I rarely watch tokusatsu shows. The only things I remember are a few famous memes from the series, such as “My body is already pineapple-pineapple-da” and “He said, ‘It’s time to go.'” There was also a time when people in QQ groups were posting memes like “Women, beach, famous scene: I love seeing your expression, that expression of jealousy.” and “You moth*rfker, why?” [1]
Similarly, my understanding of Ultraman is not deep. I’ve only seen images like “Ace, you unlucky guy” and “Thank you, Taro, I’m just a scientist” in various QQ groups and forum posts. If you ask me to distinguish who is who among the Kamen Riders or who is Jack, who is Zoffy, who is the original Ultraman, I probably won’t be able to tell.
Therefore, when I saw these two guys enter the restaurant, my first impression of them was – they actually wore Kamen Rider cosplay into the café. How are you going to eat like that?
“I suddenly realized that this place seems to be a very ideal cosplay sanctuary, no entrance fee, good scenery outside, with mountains and water, and not far away there is also a commercial street, below is the river, there are many places to play and shoot.”
After entering the store, the voices of these two guys were a bit shaky as they spoke, “Most importantly, it’s far from the city, so there’s no fear of social death at all!”
Uh… dressed like this, I don’t think anyone can recognize who is inside those leather suits, right?
“Welcome!”
Although it was a bit amusing and puzzling that such a misunderstanding occurred on the first day of the café’s opening, following the principle that all guests are welcome, I approached the two of them and asked, “Are you here for a meal or… for some other service?”
“No need for a meal for now, I want to go see the cats.”
The guy on the left, wearing a red Kamen Rider costume, had a triumphant look on his face. “Bring the fiercest and most bad-tempered cats you have here… uh, the ones that aren’t fierce, we don’t want them.”
Not fierce? Are you two taking advantage of wearing leather suits to do as you please?
Upon hearing this, the first image that came to my mind was the countryside cat known as the “Anarchist Cat Patriarch”: Building 3.
“Building 3” is a mixed-color countryside cat with orange, black, and white fur, a female cat, and currently the fiercest cat in the coffee shop.
However… although “Building 3” can be fierce, most of it is just a show. After all, the cats that come to the café have undergone some training or have been living with humans for several years, so they won’t be those truly wild cats that bite and scratch people, leaving a mouthful of blood.
“Building 3” itself is a countryside cat with a relatively wild personality, likes to be free, and gets annoyed if someone tries to touch it forcibly. It might give you a couple of scratches with its paws and then hiss as a warning, but even if it decides to play rough, it won’t extend its claws, it will just pat you with its paw to intimidate you a bit.
Even if a customer is mischievous and ignores the warning from the cats, continuing to touch and hold them, “Building 3” will go for a bite, controlling the force to be painful but not enough to break the skin. A bite leaves a tooth mark on your hand, prompting you to let go.
Ouyang Xue mentioned that the reason for allowing more wild cats like “Building 3” into the cafe is mainly to contrast with the “well-behaved” signature cats in the café and to prevent potential troublemakers. In Ouyang Xue’s investigation, if all the cats in a cat cafe are well-behaved, allowing anyone to hold and touch them, it could be used against the cafe in publicity. Someone might claim, through a so-called “undercover investigation” video, that all the cats in the shop “lack energy, show no fear towards humans,” and must have been mistreated. Debunking such accusations becomes difficult.
Ouyang Xue shared a similar experience with us. When she used to raise kittens and posted videos on the internet, critics would find ways to criticize her. Due to the dim indoor lighting, the cats’ pupils would dilate, making them appear to have large, round eyes. Detractors claimed that she had medicated the cats to make their eyes look big. This forced Ouyang Xue to reshoot the video, taking the cats outside into the sunlight to show their pupils narrowing into thin lines. She said, “Are you satisfied now? The room is dark, and the cats’ eyes naturally look round!”
The café keeps a fierce cat like “Building 3” as a preventive measure for potential situations in the future when the coffee shop becomes more well-known. This is because the robust curiosity of cats generally declines rapidly after the age of two. House cats at the age of four or five are mostly inactive, spending their days eating and sleeping. Moreover, cats that have worked in the café tend to be very friendly, and after being well-fed, they become lazy and uninterested in being touched.
Adding active and less friendly cats to the group of pet cats enhances the overall vitality of the “cat community” and, incidentally, prevents future accusations of animal cruelty in the café. Anyway, having one more cat means a bit more cat food.
What surprised me was that these “fierce cats,” which were initially expected to become useful only in the future, were now being put to use.
“You can go over to the cat area.”
After staring at the “luxurious battle robes” of the two individuals in front of me for a while, I abandoned the idea of having Yin Xiamo bring out “Building 3”.
“However, gentlemen, I might need to remind you that there will be a lot of cat fur in that area, and some cats might be curious about your clothes, possibly causing damage.”
“No problem, my brother Long… fears nothing.”
The man speaking waved to his companion, “The cat zone is over there, right? Let’s go!”
After saying that, the two of them walked away from me and headed straight to the cat living area.
“……”
As I watched their departing figures, in my mind, I could already see the state of the “battle suit” covered in scratches and cat fur half an hour later.
“Xiao Mo, there are two strange customers heading your way. Please open the door and remind them not to get too close to the aggressive cats.”
In the center of the living room, I lowered the microphone, “If possible, check which cat hasn’t had its nails trimmed, and their clothes seem quite expensive.”
Yin Xiamo quickly replied, “Got it. I just checked the cat’s nails, they’ve all been trimmed.”
Trimming nails is one aspect of caring for cats. Cats are not like humans, obediently letting you handle them. Even the most well-behaved cat may resist when you try to trim its nails with clippers. Additionally, cat nails grow very quickly, and within three to four days after trimming, they can become destructive again, requiring another round of trimming.
Cat nails have a bloodline, and around the bloodline, there are nerves. Accidentally cutting into the bloodline can cause pain to the cat, so extra caution is needed during the trimming process. With four claws on each paw and five trims per claw, not to mention attending to cats that dislike nail trimming, it becomes a significant task when dealing with sixty cats.
“Steamed dumplings and medicinal chicken soup in a big bowl, plus egg tarts.”
After handling the matters of the two young men, I returned to the kitchen, and coincidentally, the orders placed here were ready.
“Two cups of soy milk and two Cat Paw Egg Tarts, please.”
Carefully placing the dishes on the tray, I approached Chef Wang on the side, “Complimentary items.”
“Oh, your friend?”
After a few days of interaction, Chef Wang had gotten to know me to some extent, so he didn’t say much this time. He went to the soy milk machine nearby, poured two cups of soy milk, and took two insulated cat paw egg tarts.
“Thank you.”
Balancing the fully loaded tray, I walked out of the kitchen, trying to maintain an elegant stride, and returned to the table where “Tongtong” and “Maple” were seated.
“It’s really adorable… so fluffy, and it even rolls over to show its belly… you can touch it freely!”
“Why is it so big and yet so gentle in temperament? Oh, I’m going to die, it’s so cute…”
On this side of the dining table, the girl dressed in a Maple cosplay outfit seemed completely immersed in interacting with the cats. She didn’t even notice me coming over with the tray, her entire face was buried in the belly of Dingman, who was lying upside down on a chair next to her.
“It has a scent like shower gel on its body. Do they often bathe the cats here?”
“Yeah, it smells nice.”
Even Tongtong, whom I initially thought had a “cool” demeanor, was now holding her own keys while playing with the cats, expressing admiration, “Truly, these cats in the cat cafe, after training, are nothing like those at our school. They won’t let you touch them even if you offer cat food.”
“Why has it been purring continuously? Is it sick?”
“Purring in cats is usually a sign of contentment, right? That’s what I heard from videos.”
“But the purring is so loud, almost like a tractor!”
I took the steamed dumplings and chicken soup from the tray and placed them on the table next to the two of them, saying, “Sorry for the wait.”
“Oh!”
Tongtong, as if waking from a dream, exclaimed, “So fast?!”
“Not really, it’s actually considered slow. The main reason is that there aren’t many customers right now, and these steamed dumplings need to be steamed on-site.”
I continued to take out the soy milk and cat paw egg tarts, saying, “These are free.”
“Why do these egg tarts have cat paws on them… Are they really free?”
Tongtong was a bit skeptical, “Can you eat the cat paws?”
“Yes, you can. They’re chocolate.”
I nodded, “Exclusive gifts for the novel’s reader. If you order them separately, they cost eight yuan each. Please don’t spread the word after you leave.”
“Haha, got it, got it.”
Tongtong took the cat paw egg tart, took a bite, and a look of enjoyment appeared on her face, saying, “Mmm! It tastes pretty good. Lulu, you should try it too!”
With that, she handed the already half-eaten egg tart to the girl beside her.
“Maple” didn’t hesitate at all. She took a bite of the egg tart that had already been one-third eaten. Afterward, she turned her head, somewhat unclear in speech, and said, “Hmm… what… what flavor is this? Is it chocolate?”
“That’s right. Nuo’er said it’s a gift for the novel’s reader.”
Tongtong gestured toward another cat paw egg tart, saying, “How is it? Cute, right?”
“This… this cat paw, I’ve seen it at KFC. It’s quite expensive there, and often, I can’t even get it!”
Maple’s eyes seemed to sparkle, “Ah… I love this café too much. Nuo’er, you’re the best!”
“What about me?”
Tongtong deliberately used a slightly jealous tone, “Who brought you here? Don’t you love me?”
“Yes, yes, yes, you’re the one who brought me here.”
“What’s with that tone? Alright, I see. Apparently, I’ve started to annoy you.”
Tongtong put on a sad expression, “It’s because I’m not worthy. I’ve become an old woman, while Nuo’er is still young, still a little girl. You… just go, I’ll live a lonely and miserable life by myself…”
“Don’t act crazy here.”
Seemingly accustomed to Tongtong’s antics, Maple glared at her and then turned to me, “Nuo’er, go ahead and get busy. Your café is opening today, and there will be many customers. We and Cai Jingtong are easygoing. With egg tarts to eat and cats to pet, I’m already very happy.”
“Customer service is my job.”
I maintained a smile on my face, “If you need anything later, feel free to let me know. I’m usually on the first floor, you can come directly or use the app mini-program to call for assistance.”
“Alright, alright, you go ahead.”
Tongtong took out her phone, “I need to see why Ice Spirit and Duck are not here yet. They were the most active in the group a few days ago, but now there’s no sign of them.”
Ice Spirit and Duck… they couldn’t be girls as well, right? I silently pondered this possibility.
Logically, it wouldn’t make sense for both of them to be girls. Finding out that Tongtong was a girl had already shattered my expectations. If those two were also girls… I might start questioning the reality of this world.
Because “Ice Spirit” and “Physics Duck” were also very active in the group, and I had a distinct impression of them.
These two individuals… Regarding “Ice Spirit”, he falls into the category of a typically rational and serious “straight male” type. He gives off the impression of being a STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) guy, specifically a STEM guy who enjoys anime. He usually plays games like 300 Heroes and World of Tanks and World of Warships in the group. He also discusses computer-related topics such as the pros and cons of different graphics cards, details about memory chips, chip craftsmanship, etc. Group members often ask him for advice in these areas. He’s somewhat similar to “Marisa’s Iron Butt,” but “Ice Spirit” is slightly younger, likely still a college student.
As for “Physics Duck,” compared to “Ice Spirit”, he’s more of a “funny” type. He’s often joking around in the group and can chat about almost any topic. However, it seems he’s not particularly knowledgeable in most fields, except for his expertise in “Cthulhu” related content. This is because my novel had a few chapters with Cthulhu content in the beginning, which led him to join the group and read the book.
Ice Spirit, Physics Duck, Kill Kirito’s People, and the group admin, World of Dreams, usually have a weekly voice chat and gaming session. While it’s possible that one of them, especially the girl, might use a voice changer to sound like a man, I find it hard to believe that all of them would use voice changers to play games.
?Kill Kirito: @Ice Spirit @Physics Duck, where are you guys? Maple and I are already at the café. Why are you so slow??
?Kill Kirito: There are so many cats here. Nuo’er is super cute. Hurry up and come!?
When I went back to the kitchen to help, I casually opened my phone and took a glance at the group messages. I found that Tongtong had already started chatting with the group:
?Kill Kirito: Let me tell you something, group owner… cough cough, Uncle, he really is a little loli.?
?Kill Kirito: Super cute little loli, the café’s iconic maid.?
Soon, Duck in the group responded to Tongtong’s words —
?Physics Duck: Impossible!?
?Physics Duck: Where did Yae-Do find so many female authors? Even if there are, they would go write yaoi romance. This is a male protagonist story, a traditional isekai king’s path heroic tale. No female author would write this.?
?Physics Duck: Even if you’re trying to fool everyone, find something more reliable. Uncle is a girl? I don’t believe it.?
?Ice Spirit: Have you guys arrived already? I’m still on my way, two more hours on the tram. Is the food there good? Can you really pet cats for free??
?Kill Kirito: Photo20220510830002.jpg Photo20220510830024.jpg?
?Kill Kirito: See, lots of cats. People are gradually increasing. If you don’t hurry, it’ll be crowded by noon.?
?Physics Duck: Have you met Uncle in person? Is it really a little loli? Any photos??
At this moment, I heard Ouyang Xue’s voice in my earphones: “Nuo’er, Xiamo, gather at the entrance on the first floor. Let’s prepare a small opening ceremony. Ai Luodi can also come down and take a look.”
Opening ceremony?
I turned towards the café’s entrance and only then noticed that Ouyang Xue had already brought out several cameras and sound systems at some point. There were also many small red balloons on the red carpet outside the door.
Pushing open the large door on the first floor, a melodic tune immediately greeted me. If I remember correctly, this song is the background music from the “Shangjing” map in the game “Rainbow Island Online,” with the English name “Wind from the Far East.”
Previously, Mr. Wang mentioned that Ouyang Xue had worked as a VTuber and shared some stories from her childhood, but there was no mention of her connection to the game “Rainbow Island Online” or the significance of this particular song.
The full name of the café is “Shangjing Maid Cat Cafe,” a name chosen by Ouyang Xue. While it emphasizes “maid” and “cat cafe,” the term “Shangjing” seems to be important as well.
I haven’t played that game, so I’m not sure if this song holds any special meaning, but judging from the melody itself, it seems to carry a hint of… sadness?
It’s not entirely sadness, it’s more like the feeling of a wanderer returning to their hometown, walking on a tree-lined path that has undergone significant changes. It’s the sensation of looking at unfamiliar mountains, forests, and small houses, with the distant sound of a shepherd’s flute echoing in the grasslands.
The song that comes closest in style, in my personal opinion, is the opening theme of “Spice and Wolf.”
Thinking about it, I can roughly understand Ouyang Xue’s feelings. Abandoned by her parents since childhood, she ventured out into society alone, harboring dreams of becoming an idol. However, those dreams were mercilessly shattered by the cold reality, and with numerous scars, she eventually chose to yield to the harshness of the real world.
It’s like a wolf wandering in a wheat field, unable to find its home.
“Ugh… What’s wrong?”
Shortly after I arrived at the entrance on the first floor, Yin Xiamo and Ai Luodi also came over. Ai Luodi let out a big yawn, saying, “No one had milk tea in the morning, and those cats have been taken care of so well by you all. I don’t know what to do now.”
“You’ll be busy at lunchtime.”
Ouyang Xue at the entrance calmly spoke and turned to me, handing over a lint roller and picking up a camera. “Tidy up your clothes and get ready for the opening ceremony.”
“Alright.”
I took the lint roller to clean my maid outfit. “What exactly is the opening ceremony?”
“It’s very simple. Follow these balloons on the carpet…”
Ouyang Xue gestured towards the small balloons arranged on the red carpet at the entrance of the cafe. “Step on the balloons as you pass by, then lift and ignite these fireworks at the entrance. That’s it.”
As she spoke, Ouyang Xue seemed to hesitate for a moment, starting to set up cameras at the cafe’s entrance while gesturing to us about the middle and the entrance. “Enter from outside, take off your shoes halfway through stepping on the balloons, continue stepping, and finally ignite the fireworks. You need to take off your shoes and step on the balloons?”
I looked at the cameras on the red carpet with some confusion. “Is this for advertising?”
“Yes, we’ll use it for the second promotional PV later. Be careful not to step on the cameras.”
Ouyang Xue, clearly not fully recovered from her cold, spoke with a hint of weariness. “If the effect is good, I’ll also broadcast some of the content on the local TV station. It will air during the prime time of Shenzhen TV.”
Seems like the café has quite a budget for promotions. Although I felt a bit shy about taking off my shoes under the gaze of the cameras, it was all for the advertisement.
“Are you ready?”
After preparing ourselves, removing the cat hair from our clothes, Ouyang Xue checked the time on her phone and picked up the camera. “It’s about time. Go over there.”
“Okay.”
Under the gaze of the surrounding customers, I, Yin Xiamo, and Ai Luodi walked towards the end of the carpet.
Shenzhen City can be considered a super city. Although Nanqi District is a suburb with sparse population nearby, the common regulation in big cities is not to allow firecrackers within the city limits. Therefore, many stores adopt a compromise celebration method during their grand openings. They buy a large number of balloons and place them at the entrance. When the celebration begins, they either drive over them with a car or have the staff step on them along the way, welcoming the auspicious opening amid the popping sounds of balloons.
These balloons on the street stalls are clearly versions designed by some more commercially savvy businesses in the city, specifically made for stepping. They are small in size, but judging from the material and the force of expansion, these things are sure to make a very loud noise when they burst.
“One, two, three, four… Four maids! This café is really rich!”
“The head maid has a big chest, but she looks a bit older.”
“I only recognized Yin Nuo’er, the little loli is too easy to identify.”
“Really? Yin Xiamo is also easy to recognize. She’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Yin Nuo’er is a loli, Yin Xiamo is a beauty, and the only older ones are their manager and a newcomer. They are easy to recognize.”
Amidst the discussions of the surrounding crowd, Yin Nuo’er, Yin Xiamo, and I, along with Ai Luodi, reached the end of the red carpet.
“I’ll count to three, and you guys run over, step on the balloons, then at the first camera in the middle, take off your shoes, continue stepping on the balloons behind, and finally, each one takes a firework.”
Ouyang Xue in front raised the camera and lifted one hand. “Ready. Two, three… Go!”
Instinctively, I rushed out—
“Crackling…”
“Oh!”
“Pop pop pop pop—”
As expected, the power of these small balloons exploding was not to be underestimated. Some fragments bounced onto my legs, covered by the skirt and white stockings, causing a slightly painful sensation. However, it was bearable.
“Crackling…”
The red carpet wasn’t long. Before long, Yin Xiamo, Ai Luodi, and I arrived in the middle. In front of the central camera, we elegantly took off our shoes and continued running forward to step on more balloons.
Compared to the round-toed maid shoes, stepping on balloons directly with your feet had a high error rate. Often, a foot down would make the balloon slip away with a “pop” without bursting. However, Ouyang Xue didn’t require us to pop every balloon, so we didn’t bother with the ones that flew away. With the sound of whistling wind, we quickly reached the front of the café.
I know that even if we didn’t perfectly pop all the balloons along the way, Ouyang Xue should handle this video segment very well.
Now, for this fireworks tube, let me see, the switch should be here…
I took down a long tube firework from the rack beside the store entrance, confirmed its usage, and then raised it—
“Boom! Boom! Boom!”
Spontaneous bursts of the firework tube echoed, and a large number of paper “fireworks” were sprayed into the air. With some fluorescent paper, they lit up the morning sky over the café like stars in the dark night.
“Wow—”
“Yay!”
“May your business prosper, congratulations on good fortune!”
The onlookers surrounding the entire event spontaneously burst into applause.
“Thank you, everyone. Thank you all for coming to celebrate with us.”
Ouyang Xue walked back from the stall, holding the camera, and respectfully addressed the surrounding crowd, “If any of you are tired, feel free to step into the small café. We have a free resting area and tea inside. If needed, you can also use the specially designed massage chairs and interact with the little cats. The WiFi password is eight eights [2]. If you have any requests, feel free to let the maid girls inside the shop know…”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you…”
Meanwhile, Ouyang Xue approached the customers. As for me, Yin Xiamo, and Ai Luodi, we returned to the middle of the carpet to put on our shoes.
“The peaceful world here is sometimes quite magical.”
While putting on her shoes, Yin Xiamo seemed thoughtful. “Everyone is working hard to live a happy and stable life… It feels somewhat unreal.”
“What’s the matter?”
Curious, I asked after putting on my shoes again, “Missing your hero, perhaps?”
“How could that be? That guy… it would be better if he were dead. Everyone believed in him, always ready to lend a helping hand to others, so kind to everyone… he’s just… just a big idiot.”
Yin Xiamo whispered, “A hero like that is best suited to become a girl and then be devoured by me when facing difficulties.”
“Are you two having chuunibyou again?”
Ai Luodi in front turned her head, “Nuo’er, I’ll tell you a good way to deal with chuunibyou. Just ignore whatever she says and kiss her directly.”
“Huh?”
I felt like my brain short-circuited instantly, “What are you two talking about, and why should I deal with chuunibyou?”
“Yes, Ai Luodi is absolutely right.”
Yin Xiamo quickly got into the act, turning her face away, “Quick, kiss me quickly, or I’ll continue with my chuunibyou.”
“I don’t want that.”
I glanced around at the customers, “There are so many people watching here…”
“If you don’t kiss me, I’ll do it.”
Before I could react, the girl ran directly to my side, bent down, and gave me a “smooch” on my face.[3]
Huh?
“Nuo’er’s energy replenished!”
Completely caught off guard by being taken advantage of in public, I stood there in shock. On the other hand, Yin Xiamo, who had just “kissed” me, casually pushed open the glass door of the cafe.
“Let the battle of the day begin!”
“……”
……
- “My body is already pineapple-pineapple-da” is a line from the Kamen Rider Build episode “Build, Be the One!”. It is spoken by Sento Kiryu, the main character, as he transforms into Kamen Rider Build. The line is a reference to the fact that Sento is made up of two people, Takumi Katsuragi and Sento Kiryu. The “pineapple-pineapple” part of the line is a Japanese onomatopoeia for the sound of a heartbeat.
- “He said, ‘It’s time to go.'” is a line from the Kamen Rider Ex-Aid episode “Ex-Aid, the God of Games!”. It is spoken by Emu Hojo, the main character, as he transforms into Kamen Rider Ex-Aid. The line is a reference to the fact that Emu is a gamer, and he often uses gaming terms in his speech.
- “Women, beach, famous scene: I love seeing your expression, that expression of jealousy.” is a line from the Kamen Rider W episode “W, the Future!”. It is spoken by Phillip, the secondary protagonist, as he watches a woman on the beach. The line is a reference to the fact that Phillip is a womanizer, and he often makes comments about women.
- “You moth*rfker, why?” is a line from the Kamen Rider Wizard episode “Wizard, the Last Stand!”. It is spoken by Haruto Soma, the main character, as he is about to defeat the final boss. The line is a reference to the fact that Haruto is a hot-headed character, and he often uses profanity.
“WIFI?????” (pinyin: wéi f?i mì m?o b? ge b?) literally means “WIFI password is eight eights”.
It is a common joke in China that people use as a placeholder for their actual WIFI password. The joke is that it is a very easy password to remember, and it is also very difficult to guess.
I don’t know where Xiamo kissed her. It didn’t specify a particular place, just mentioned it was on the face.