I woke up to find I have a child - Chapter 65
As Han Feixu was ruminating in the car, Wei Xun stood outside not too far away as he waited for his employer to calm down. So when Ye Mingxin hurried out of the KTV, the first thing she saw was Wei Xun standing there like a wooden statue. As soon as she looked at him, Wei Xun signaled towards the cars with his eyes.
Ye Mingxin rushed over. This time, Han Fiexu didn’t lock the car nor did she glare at her with her death glare when she came into the car.
Her head was bowed slightly and her eyes fixed on her knees, but it was how quiet she was that made Ye Mingxin feel even more nervous than she already was.
Before Han Feixu could even open her mouth and ask, Ye Mingxin immediately said, “I have never touched her and she has never touched me. Neither of us touched even a single strand of each other’s hair.”
“It was all a matter of perspective. She had the paparazzi lying in wait outside of her window in advance, she purposely arranged the seats to face the window, and she also didn’t close the curtains on purpose. I simply sat at the table and didn’t touch her at all.”
After hearing this, Han Feixu turned his head and looked at her quietly.
They stared at each other for a while before Han Feixu finally spoke up, “Did you say these words as well when you explained it to me last time?”
Ye Mingxin nodded.
“And did I trust you then?”
Her question was quite sharp and Ye Mingxin’s expression froze. After a long time, she let out a bitter chuckle: “No, last time when I explained…..I had no credibility in your eyes.”
Han Feixu asked her a third question, “Then why do you think I will trust and believe you this time?”
Ye Mingxin’s expression stiffened. She had visited Kong Shi alone so except for the two of them, there was no third party who could testify for her. The only explanation came from her own rosy lips so if Han Feixu believes her, then everyone is happy. However, if she doesn’t believe her, there is nothing else she can do.
Ye Mingxin pursued her lips and lowered her voice, “I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?”
“I’m sorry I can’t let you wholeheartedly trust me.”
Han Feixu didn’t reply. She turned her head toward the front, looking out at the scenery outside the windshield. After about a minute, she spoke again, “If you really know me like you said, then you should know I have serious trust issues. It’s not your fault.”
Although Han Feixu looks carefree, friendly, and treats everyone with the same smile, she actually doesn’t trust anyone. Out of everyone, she trusts Shen Sangluo the most and even then there are some things hidden so deeply in her heart that she will not tell her.
“If you don’t want me to doubt you then tell me the full truth and don’t spare any details.”
It was silent for a long time after she said this. She didn’t hear any reply for a while so she turned her head to look only to find Ye Mingxin struggling to meet her gaze.
Han Feixu found it hard to believe, “If you still don’t want to tell me at such a crucial moment, I now know why the two of us were about to divorce. I have serious trust issues, yet you never planned on making me trust you!”
Han Feixu resolutely turned around and opened the car door, moving to leave when Ye Mingxin suddenly stretched out an arm and slammed the door close. The loud noise attracted many eyes from the front door of the KTV. The two of them were also easily recognizable celebrities and sitting in the front, so Wei Xun immediately walked over and subtly blocked them from view until there wasn’t even a trace of their shadows.
“I was being blackmailed by Kong Shi. She told me to come by myself if I wished to negotiate terms with her. Back then I was too anxious to think straight, so I panicked and got into her car without a second thought. I never expected for her to take us back to her place. I had wanted to get this matter over with quickly, so I unknowingly walked right into her trap.”
Ye Mingxin had said this all in one breath. Han Feixu’s brows furrowed together, “What did she blackmail you with?”
Ye Mingxin closed her eyes. Although the subject seemed difficult for her, she still managed to say, “16 years ago, I was kidnapped. Kong Shi’s uncle was one of the policemen who worked on the case. She learned about this matter from her uncle and thought she could use this incident to threaten me, but later I found out she not only wanted to blackmail me but to use me to get more publicity.”
Surprise flashed across Han Feixu’s face. She didn’t know anything before this, but now she was even more confused, “Why would she use that kind of thing to blackmail you? And what’s so shameful about getting kidnapped?”
At that moment, Han Feixu suddenly flashbacked to the time when Ye Mingxin was drunk and had mentioned a “they”. Her eyes widened at the sudden implication and regret welled up in her heart. She suddenly didn’t want to know anymore as she was afraid of what she might hear next.
The last time they had this conversation, many years ago, Han Feixu’s attitude was far worse than her attitude right now. She hadn’t bothered to ask Ye Mignxin why and instead kept condemning her while getting increasingly agitated. When Ye Mingxin tried to explain, Han Feixu refused to listen. Even if she did listen, she wouldn’t think any of her words are true.
Thus, Ye Mingxin was unable to mention the reason why Kong Shi blackmailed her and with what. Furthermore, she was unwilling to bring up the topic if she could as she didn’t want anyone to know about this shameful moment in her past and she especially did not want Han Feixu to know.
“I was 14 years old and had gone out with some classmates. Our parents told us not to stray too far, but none of us listened. There were….three of us in total. We were on the way back to the hotel when one of us stopped by a supermarket to buy popsicles. We waited for her at the entrance, but she didn’t return for a long time so we went in to find her. The supermarket was located in an alley and we couldn’t find her, but a man stopped to help us.”
Ye Mingxin paused, “He told us that our classmate had walked in a totally different direction. We didn’t suspect his words and so walked towards the direction he had pointed at. We were led to a dark road with no one else on the street. A van waited for us at the end of the road. We were pushed into the van and found our lost classmate who was knocked unconscious.”
Han Feixu stared at her blankly, not daring to interrupt. These things had happened a long time ago, but to Ye Mingxin it felt like it was only yesterday and her face turned pale as she remembered the past.
“They locked us up in a remote and desolate place and forced us to give them our parents’ phone numbers. The three of us, all girls, stayed with the kidnappers for two days and two nights, but the police never came. Thinking that perhaps the sound of our distressed voices was not enough for our parents to pay the ransom, they chopped off half of one of my classmate’s fingers. Then they took a picture of it before sending it to the local police station.”
Han Feixu covered her mouth as Ye Mingxin raised her head and smiled sadly at her, “This is the inspiration behind the script you wanted to know about so badly. In Qi Hanxue’s case, she was haunted by her brother’s death, shutting herself off from the rest of the world for seven years due to her feelings of guilt. However the reason for her guilt was not because her brother had died, but because when her killer had chosen her brother, her first reaction was to quietly rejoice in her heart, relieved that she wasn’t picked.”
Han Feixu opened her mouth, “So you also….”
“A little bit. The leader of the group of kidnappers had walked behind us, looking at each of our hands like he was shopping for fruits at a grocery store. I remembered that feeling when he touched me. It was cold, rough, disgusting, and of course, I felt fear then, the fear of death.”
Death is not so terrible compared to the process of waiting for death. The experience of waiting for one’s death was one Ye Mingxin never wanted to experience again.
Ye Mingxin’s face seemed to be overwhelmed by her memories, the emotions of a long-forgotten past brought alive by her narration of past events. The edges of Han Feixu’s eyes turned red as she muttered quietly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know….”
Ye Mingxin lightly shook her head, “This is not the reason why I felt threatened when I was blackmailed, nor is it the reason why I didn’t want to tell you. I will always feel guilty of the selfish emotions I felt then in my heart, but they are not there on why I want to hide it from you.”
“The real reason why I hid all this from you, why I didn’t tell you any of this is because…I’m a coward.”
After 48 hours of captivity, they had finally found their chance to escape. However, despite being extremely careful, their movements were too loud and the kidnappers quickly discovered them. They decided to make a break for it, desperately running away as fast as possible. But the kidnappers had imprisoned them on the mountain and the path down the mountain was treacherous. One of her classmates had quickly fallen behind while Ye Mingxin and the other classmate ran ahead and then they too got separated after a while.
If only one of them escapes successfully, then that person will be able to call for rescue and all of the kidnappers will be finished. Thus, the kidnappers had grabbed the slowest classmate, tying up her hands as they dragged her into the forest to search for the others.
The mountain was located in a really remote area, with no villages or signs of life in sight. Even forest rangers did not venture this far as the nearest buildings were a nursing home and some villas that were more than a kilometer away from the foot of the mountain.
Additionally, no one would come out that late at night, so only the voices of the kidnappers and the cries of her captured classmate could be heard. The sounds lingered in Ye Mingxin’s ears as the kidnappers searched for her in vain, eventually passing by her hiding spot.
She listened as the kidnappers called out a warning. Saying that if they didn’t come out now, then they would cut off her classmate’s hand. However, she didn’t dare to move, let alone come out of her hiding place. She was just too scared.
In the end, instead of cutting off the classmate’s hand, they knocked her out before leaving her behind at a random place on the mountain. The kidnappers still couldn’t find them, and thus decided to leave before the authorities came to capture them. Ye Mingxin remained in her hiding place, squatting behind the bushes until finally the morning sun broke through the sky. Only then was she brave enough to finally leave the mountain.
Ye Mingxin smiled self-deprecatingly, “It’s been sixteen years, and I still feel the same as I did back then. I think about that captured classmate even now. She never did get her hand cut off, in fact she has shed the shadows of her past and is living a normal life, but I will always think about the what ifs. What if the kidnappers had tortured her, what if the kidnappers had taken her with them, and what if the kidnappers had killed her.”
Han Feixu opened her mouth to speak, but Ye Mingxin quickly raised a hand to stop her, “I know what you’re going to say, that I shouldn’t feel guilty for the things that never happened. My therapist has already said the same thing to me, but I can’t help but feel guilty. The probability of the kidnappers hurting her was something like 99%, but she had gotten lucky and ended up with the 1% outcome. That is her fortune, but not mine. For the rest of my life, I can only live with this neverending guilt that cannot be alleviated.”
Han Feixu sat there speechlessly, not knowing how to comfort Ye Mingxin because she knew that if such a thing had happened to her, she would have fallen into this same situation. One cannot assume they haven’t done anything wrong just because nothing had happened after they made their choice. Wrong is wrong, regardless of the outcome.
But, on a similar line of thought, one shouldn’t blame Ye Mingxin for what she did. When it’s one’s life and death at stake, of course it would be difficult to think of other’s lives and safety at that moment. All humans are selfish, it was only a matter of how selfish one can be.
Han Feixu stayed silent for a few seconds before leaning over to hug Ye Mingxin tightly. She lightly patted her back, “I won’t make any comments on this matter, but just know that I am very grateful and happy that you were not hurt.”
Ye Mingxin’s body was stiff at first, before slowly relaxing under her comforting hands. By the time she had almost relaxed completely, Han Feixu leaned back, her face very close to Ye Mingxin’s as she looked into her eyes with a serious look, “I don’t care what you are thinking, but in my opinion, if there was no other choice, I would rather wish for harm to befall on them than you.”
Ye Mingxin stared at her silently as she smiled, “You may be a coward, but I am also a selfish person. It seems we are made for each other.”
Ye Mingxin burst into laughter, hugging Han Feixu close to her as she placed her head on her shoulder and slowly closed her eyes.
There were no ulterior motives behind the hug. It was simply a desperate hug from someone who has been walking alone in the ice and snow for a long time and who can now soak in the gentle warmth she had never hoped for before.
They left the party without a single goodbye to anyone else. When they returned to the hotel, they continued their talk, quietly whispering to one another as they lay in bed together.
It was still much too early to go to sleep, but they didn’t want to do anything else but to lie there and talk, enjoying this peaceful moment.
When a secret has been pent up in your heart for a long time, the body may be able to tolerate it as long as it is never spoken about. However, it is only after the secret is spoken out loud is the heart able to tell the body that it has been a long time since it has ever felt relaxed.
Ye Mignxin then revealed some more details to her. Apparently, Kong Shi’s uncle was one of the policemen on duty at the nearby local police station when it happened. He was the one who found the half chopped off finger and photos that came with it. He was highly invested in the case and knew everything there was to know about it, and so naturally Kong Shi was able to learn about this matter too. When she did, she had “invited” Ye Mingxin to negotiate her silence on the matter. At the time, Ye Mingxin and Han Feixu’s relationship was in a rocky state, sometimes it was going well and sometimes it would sour. Ye Mingxin was afraid that Han Feixu would find out about this matter and break off their relationship. At the time, she was not as practiced as she is now at hiding her emotions. When it came to anything relating to Han Feixu, she was utterly defenseless and lacked any rational sense.
Kong Shi naturally noticed her nervous attitude on this matter and could see that her chance had come. She asked Ye Mignxin for money to buy her silence, and Ye Mingxin agreed. She asked Ye Mingxin for resources to better her acting career, and Ye Mingxin also agreed. After making some more progress, she finally asked Ye Mingxin to enter a relationship with her. Of course, Ye Mingxin refused and so Kong Shi took a step back and instead asked Ye Mingxin to collaborate with her for publicity by implying that there might be something between them to the press. Ye Mingxin still refused. When even the threat of releasing her blackmail didn’t make Ye Mingxin budge on this matter, she lied. She said that they needed to “negotiate” again on this matter, and thus the unsuspecting Ye Mingxin fell for her trap.
Han Feixu’s image of the invisible Ye Mignxin collapsed in her heart as she looked at her in disbelief, “How can you be so stupid!”
Ye Mingxin said in a tender and pitiful voice as she laid next to Han Feixu, “Because I was really afraid that you would find out and then once you did that you would leave me. After learning what a wicked person I am, you’d definitely curse yourself for being blind to have chosen a wife like me.”
Han Feixu narrowed her eyes, “I’m not blind, if anyone is blind it’s you. The fact that I married you should be a hint. Do you think I would let my wife suffer because of some inane moral dilemma? If you encounter something like this, no matter what decision you made, I would not have blamed you. If you had told me the truth at the time, I would not have been that angry.”
Ye Mingxin felt wronged, “I did want to explain, but you didn’t give me a chance. Then it was many years later and the time to explain had long passed. By then, there was no need to explain.”
Bringing up the past is of no use, it is the present that matters more.
Han Feixu pulled up the blankets when she suddenly thought of a question, “I asked you some time ago if the inspiration behind the script was a good thing or a bad thing but you said it was a good thing. How can this be a good thing?”
When Ye Mingxin didn’t answer for a while, Han Feixu raised her head to look at her. Ye Mingxin blinked, “It’s a good thing because I managed to stay alive and live long enough to meet you.”
Her answer is a good one and one can say that her mouth can say quite sweet things.
However, she was not telling the truth.
Han Feixu found that she was able to tell if Ye Mingxin was lying or not more and more often. Thus, she could tell that this sentence just now was something Ye Mingxin made up just now.
In light of her bad mood, Han Feixu decided not to pursue the matter any further and decided to let her off the hook just this once. Anyhow, she still has a lot of time in the future to slowly and carefully investigate this matter.
Their conversation continued all the way till midnight, when both of them were about to fall asleep, when Han Feixu’s cell phone suddenly started ringing. When she picked up the phone, she saw Yan Yureong’s name flashing across her screen.
Han Feixu answered immediately. For Yan Yuerong to call at such a time meant something bad had happened.
As it turns out, it was not an urgent matter, but neither was it a small matter. Apparently, Yiyi has fallen ill with a fever and now her fever has reached 38.7 degrees (~101.6 F). Her fever has been running all afternoon despite taking fever-reducing medicine and applying fever-reducing patches to her skin. None of these things seemed to work so Yan Yuerong had taken the child to the Xinyang Hospital their family owns. Yiyi kept clamoring for her mother as she suffered in the hospital, and Yan Yuerong also felt that this couldn’t continue so she decided to call Han Feixu.
After asking for clarification and getting confirmation that this was simply a common seasonal illness without any serious complications, Han Feixu hung up the phone with a sigh of relief. She then sat up and got out of bed as she quickly began to change her clothes.
Ye Mingxin also sat up and moved to follow her.
“Stay here, you don’t need to go. One person is enough.”
Ye Mingxin frowned, “But….”
“But nothing. You can’t suddenly just ask for leave after all. I’ll call you after I see Yiyi.” Han Feixu said while pulling up her pants, her zipper half-unzipped as she suddenly looked up, “Are Yu Tingxue and Yin Jiahe going back to Beijing tonight?”
For a moment, Ye Mingxin didn’t say anything and then a moment later she called Yu Tingxue.
Fortunately for Han Feixu, Yu Tingxue’s private jet hadn’t left yet as the wrap-up party for Yin Jiahe was being held late and so they were planning on leaving in the middle of the night. And if Ye Mingxin had called even a few minutes later, Han Feixu would have missed them.
Han Feixu left before even asking for leave. Wei Xun and Zhong Yuanyuan sat with her on a private jet and for the first time ever, Han Feixu didn’t talk to anyone. In her heart and eyes, all she could think about was her sick child and she had no energy to chat with others.
Yu Tingxue’s private jet is quite powerful and allowed them to arrive at the hospital in just two hours. The pilot sent notice in advance so they were able to land in the runway usually reserved for the Air Force Military that was about an hour’s drive from Xingyan Hospital. Fortunately, Yan Yureong had already sent someone over to pick them up and the driver was already waiting for them when they landed.
It was midnight when Yan Yureong had made the call, but now it was about 2:50 in the morning. From Hendian to Xinyan hospital, Han Feixu had rushed over faster than the speed of light to get here.
Since the child is young and lacks a strong immune system, the high fever continued to persist through the night. The doctor decided to administer an IV drip and fortunately Yiyi is not afraid of needles, otherwise it would have been a hectic night.
When Han Feixu arrived, the IV drip was already starting to work and Yiyi was feeling much better. So the moment she saw her mother, she rushed over immediately and hugged her. Han Feixu quickly returned her hug and comforted her by patting her on the back. She reached the nape of her child’s neck and found that the temperature was only a little higher than normal, not at all like a high fever should be.
She raised her head and looked over at Yan Yuerong questioningly. The latter quickly explained: “The temperature dropped halfway through the treatment. The doctor said we could go home but should keep a close eye on her. If there are no signs of fever tomorrow night, then everything will be fine.”
Han Feixu finally let out a sigh of relief. She hugged Yiyi and said softly, “Mama will take you home now. You must eat your medicine and sleep well. If you’re good, Mama will play with you tomorrow, okay?”
The fever had lasted for quite long, so despite Yiyi feeling energetic, her little face looked pale and sallow. She placed her arms around her mother’s neck and asked happily, “Mama, can I sleep with you tonight?”
“Yes, yes, that’s fine. Mama will hug you to sleep tonight.”
With Han Feixu around, Yan Yuerong didn’t take Yiyi back to her great-grandfather’s house but instead followed them back to their small villa. Auntie Li opened the door for them and Han Feixu personally carried Yiyi up the stairs. On the way back, the side-effects of the fever finally caught up to Yiyi. Her eyelids felt heavy, and she was in a half-awake state when they arrived home.
Han Feixu no longer complained about how heavy Yiyi felt. Now, even if Yiyi weighs over a hundred kilograms, she would not complain.
When she passed by the living room, Han Feixu stopped and stared dumbfoundedly at the person in front of her, “Who are you?”
He Yanran: “….”
“I’m your family doctor. Han Feixu, I know you’re a forgetful person, but isn’t this a little too much?”
Family doctor? Did their family have someone like this on staff?
She stood there dumbfoundedly for a while before she finally pulled the name “He Yanran” from her catalog of memories. She recalled that when Ye Mingxin had fallen in the bathroom that one time it was this woman who treated her. She exclaimed in sudden realization, “Oh, it’s Doctor He. Yes, I remember you now.”
He Yanran: “…..”
Maybe she shouldn’t have come after all.
Han Feixu tucked the child in her bed, tucking the blankets firmly over her body. She then moved to the bedroom window and lowered it until only a small gap remained. Then she walked over to He Yanran, “Doctor He, how is she?”
“The fever is gone, but we’ll keep her under observation for a while.” He Yanran put away the in-ear thermometer she used and frowned as she looked over at Han Feixu, “She’s already gone to the hospital, so why did you need to call me over? The urgent tone of voice scared me half to death, you know. I thought something big had happened.”
The person who called her was Yan Yuerong. This was the first time in a long while that Yiyi had gotten sick and Yan Yureong had panicked. Ever since her children had become adults, her family no longer needed a pediatrician. Then she remembered that Ye Mingxin and Han Feixu had hired a certain doctor when they were preparing for pregnancy, so she asked Aunite Li to call He Yanran to rush over.
Yan Yuerong’s tone was quite frightening and, thinking that something terrible had happened to the child, He Yanran didn’t even bother riding her electric moped and took a taxi directly here. Who knew that when she got here that everyone had already gone to the hospital and only the live-in housekeeper was there to greet her.
Han Feixu apologized with an embarrassed expression and then suggested, “Doctor He, you don’t have to leave today. In case Yiyi’s fever returns tonight, I must trouble you to take a look again.”
It was already half past three in the morning, so of course He Yanran wasn’t going to leave anytime soon. He Yanran picked her tools and took two steps out the bedroom when she suddenly remembered something, “Oh, right, I’m not a professional pediatrician. So your mom must have dialed the wrong number.”
Seeing Han Feixu’s bewildered expression, He Yanran said speechlessly, “Your family also has a professional pediatrician on staff. You couldn’t have forgotten about her, right?”
It’s not that she forgot, per say. It’s more like she didn’t know about it at all.
Han Feixu started back in silence and after a few more seconds of awkward silence, He Yanran took out a prescription pad, wrote a series of numbers on it, and then tore off a page before handing it to Han Feixu, “From the way you’re acting, I guess you’ve even lost her number. Here, this is Zhang Rui’s phone number. Call her if the child gets sick in the future. She’s in Dongcheng, which is much closer than where I live.”