Mebius World Online – Mari’s VRMMO Diary, Embarking on a Laid-back Adventure as a Novice - Chapter 148
148. Audio drama: Mari-nee and the feelings entrusted to her in a letter (second letter)
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“Fuu… the next one is the second letter, from Yuki-chan.”
As I opened the letter and read the words written inside, I couldn’t help but clutch my chest.
Unconsciously, my hand holding the letter started to tremble.
The letter contained a heartrending cry.
“Every day is painful and hard… How long will this continue? How long do I have to endure this?? Why do I have to live??”
Images of the days right after I woke up from a long sleep flashed through my mind.
Despair at a body that couldn’t move properly on its own.
The pain of rehabilitation, with no signs of improvement.
Anxiety that slowly but surely ate away at my heart.
Every time I reread it, my chest felt like it was going to burst…
I took a deep breath and brought my focus back to the present.
Calm down, the past me is still a part of me, but it’s not all that I am now.
After several deep breaths, I started recording.
“Endless days without a clear future are tough. Even more so when you’re enduring pain and suffering.”
I calmly reflected on the past and chose my words carefully.
“I can’t alleviate your pain, Yuki-chan, and I can’t tell you that good things will happen if you keep living.”
A kind lie or perhaps a cruel truth, that saying “if you keep living.”
I don’t think such words would reach the current Yuki-chan.
If they did, she wouldn’t have had to scream.
“I too wondered what I was living for, and if I was just a burden to everyone around me.”
If my younger siblings heard this, they might worry again, but this was my honest feeling back then.
But unlike those days, now I’ve met irreplaceable people through the world of Mebius.
Estelle-san and the children at the church, Roulette-san and the others, Nero and Kuuga.
And Masato and Maki, who gave me the chance to meet them.
New encounters and past connections have become my guiding lights.
So now, I should be the one to convey it.
Not with kind words, but with what I truly feel…
“So when things are really tough, it’s okay not to push yourself. You decide how to live your life. Regardless of anyone else’s wishes or thoughts.”
I spoke firmly, as if cutting through the heavy weight of existence entangling her.
“The heart is free… I want you to look at it and think. Is there anything you’re holding back, anything left unfinished? Though, I hope you’ll avoid crimes.”
I added a touch of humor and included what I wanted to convey most at the end.
“When you get better, maybe we can play outside together. I can’t walk freely, so if you could push my wheelchair, that would make me happy. Around the time the cherry blossoms bloom, we could go flower viewing. Under the soft sunlight, gazing up at the fully bloomed cherry blossoms…”
I paused, then stopped the recording.
I had spoken my thoughts.
I didn’t know how Yuki-chan would feel, but the scene I described at the end lingered in my mind for a while…