Pioneering the Apocalyptic World - Chapter 125

Chapter 55: To live in this world

Uru took slow steps, quietly leading my hand and keeping pace with me, but she didn’t ask me anything along the way.
It took more than twice as long as usual to finally get back to my room, and when I was led to the bed, I weakly sat down on the edge. Did Uru sit down next to me? I felt a slight vibration.
For a while, I was just hunched over and staring blankly at the grains of the floorboards, Uru remained silent and waited for me. Eventually, I took a deep breath and began to speak.

“… You know that, I… Came from a far away place, right?”

“Umu.”

There were times when I thought about taking this secret with me to my grave, but at this moment I felt more like I should just confess all. In a sense, I may have given up.
I gulped and with a contradictory feeling, seeming to have made up my mind, but at same time with cold feet, I finally spoke.

“If I told you that I came from another world… A world different from this Asteria, which is managed by the creator god. Would you believe me?”

“I’d believe you.”

“That’s right, you believe… Huh?”

Moreover, in an instant!?
When I was surprised at how easy it was, Uru tilted her head to the side incredulously.

“Does Rion gain anything by telling such a lie?”

“No, no, I’m not, but… It’s a talk so outrageous that doesn’t make you think, ‘What are you talking about?’ or ‘Is your head okay?’…?”

“? Rion is weird to begin with, right?”

“Hey!?”

It was because of my daily behavior!?
No, no, that’s too much! When I took an indignated attitude in protest, she corrected her words with a wry smile.

“As expected, my words were too much. But how should I put this… Well, from start your thought process was so outlandish, that when I heard that, I thought “Ah, that’s why!” and was convinced.”

“… Huh.”

Please don’t tell me that because of me she’s thinking that everyone in my world are weird? Putting aside the players of the same game, the other people are normal, okay…?
In any case, in another world, in a VR game… It’s difficult to explain to the Asterians who don’t know the concept of computers, so I won’t use this word, I explain that I had the experience of being a miko there, and as result I caught the eye of the creator God and I was invited to this world.

“So… I was invited… But… I absolutely cannot… Go back to my original world… I learned from the explanation from the Creator God earlier.”

“…”

As I put it into words, I felt an unpleasant feeling as if something heavy was pressing down on my chest.
Pulled by that, I felt like a something was accumulating in my heart… No, it had been piling up for a long time, and it was about to burst at this moment.

“No, well, I was told from the beginning that I couldn’t go home, so it’s my fault for misunderstanding it, but…”

Although I managed to calm down my voice, which was straining at every word.
My emotions bypassed my reason.
And without realizing it, a tear was streaming down my face
As soon as I became aware of that, I began to burst into tears and sobs. Even after covering my face with my hands, they don’t stop.

“… Ugh… Uaaaaaaaaaaaaah…”

Uru didn’t say anything to me as I cried, she just continued to pat my back in a hesitant manner.

After I cried for a while and all I could do was hiccups.

“… Rion. If possible, I’d like you to listen to me without getting angry.”

“…?”

What Uru said in a troubled, apologetic voice towards me as I sniffled was-

“Honestly… I was a little… No, quite relieved when I heard that Rion couldn’t go home.”

“…… Eh.”

Are you relieved?… W-why…?
To me with who was astonished, Uru confessed her feelings with a guilty look on her face.

“I thought that I would always be with Rion. But there were times when I thought that one day you would return to your hometown.”

“…”

“I feel lonely just thinking about what would happen if Rion were gone. Still, if it’s your wish to return home, that wish should be granted.”

I’ve always thought that not being able to return meant that I had completely severed ties with my original world.
Although that is certainly true.

“As long as Rion is alive and well, even if you’re far away, I should be satisfied that you’re fine. At least It’s not the chilling fear that I felt when Altair almost killed you.”

I had to think not only about my previous world, but also about the things in this world.

“Rion sometimes had a distant look in your eyes, eyes that were thinking about your hometown. No matter how lonely I would be, if you wanted to go home I was willing to see you off.”

Did I sever ties with my old world?
… That broken ties are now connected to this Asteria.
A new bond was forged between Uru, the people living in Asteria and me.
I don’t think anyone would blame me for wanting to cut them off and go home just for my own convenience, but…

“That’s why… I was relieved. I thought, now we can be together forever.”

Now that I know about Uru’s feelings… It seems irresponsible to cut her off.
One of the reasons why I kept running away from Fricka was that I might be returning to my original world. So I half-consciously took a step back, thinking it would be better not to get too deep into it.

“… Well, no matter how much I wish for it, I have to add, as long as you don’t hate me.”

… It was already too late.
A relationship so important that it cannot and should not be thrown away has long since been formed.
I wonder how much I hadn’t looked around to realize it just now.
Not because of being the second option if I can’t go back… But because I believe that even if I had been told that I could go home, I would have chosen to stay.
There are things that are important to me in my original world, and I don’t intend to neglect them, but… since there is an ‘other me’ there… ‘This me” is unnecessary there.

Ah… I am, here in Asteria, here in this land.
I have to keep my feet firmly planted, look forward, look to the future, and live my life.

This almost painful feeling of loss, even after I learned that this is not a game but reality, is my own fault, because I continued to run away from that fact and did not face the reality.
It’s definitely not ‘because I’m no longer needed in my original world’…

So I crushed my hesitation and swallowed it.

“… It’s okay, Uru. As long as you don’t hate me, I’ll stay with you forever.”

I answered with the best smile I could manage right now.

However.

“… I know that Rion won’t tell such a lie to me, but it makes me uneasy when you say it with such a pained expression on your face.”

I was given a bitter smile in response.
It seems like my face is still in pretty bad shape.

“Rion is probably still tired. It would be a good idea to rest for a while.”

Ugh… Probably because I cried, I am a little light-headed.
When I was wondering whether I should leave Uru alone and rest in this situation, Uru started patting her lap like she had done before.
… Unable to resist the temptation, I borrowed her lap, and within a short time, my consciousness began to sink.