The Pain of an Inferior: A Blistering Love Comedy That Begins After a Broken Heart - Chapter 25

“Hey, Miyako… Can I kiss you?”

“Fufu..Sure. Come here.”

Haruka said, his eyes swimming with embarrassment.

Feeling the heat rising in my cheeks, I gave my consent.

I closed my eyes, and tilt my face to make it easier for kissing.

Haruka’s soft lips gently touch me.

I crawl my hands behind his back and make my body close to his.

His body heat is warm and comfortable.

I squint my eyes and concentrate on his heat and the kisses he gives me.

After about seven or eight kisses, he presses his face to my neck and presses his hands into mine.

My heart is pounding, my head is fluttering, and my whole body is filled with a feeling of debauched happiness.

Once we are in this kind of a tight position, it feels so good that I can hardly pull away from him.

In the worst case, we spend almost an hour touching each other.

I rub my chin and cheek against the nape of his neck, and occasionally kiss each other as I remember.

I wish this kind of happiness could last forever.

At the moment I thought so, I suddenly felt cold around me.

Haruka, who was supposed to be holding me in his arms, had vanished before I knew it.

As I start to move hurriedly to look for the missing Haruka, I feel the ground disappear, and at the same time my vision is shaken.

I jump up.

I look around in a panic. I see the familiar scene of my room.

It seems that I have been dreaming. After I wake up, I try hard to remember the contents of the dream, which are rapidly fading away. I remember the warmth of Haruka’s body. I remember the feeling of happiness, the soft kiss, the embrace, everything.

My whole body was cold as if my blood had frozen. The room was computer-controlled to keep the temperature at the right level, but I felt so cold.

After the dizzying sensation, I feel nauseous.

I continue to take the prescribed medication, but the nausea has not gone away.

On the contrary, my sleep is shallow and I always have some kind of dream. My mind and body are sluggish and I felt as if I had not been able to get rid of fatigue.

In my dream, Haruka’s body was warm.

It felt good to be hugged and kissed.

But when I realized that it was a dream, I felt so empty.

Around three years ago, I used to ask him to kiss me. I remember that each time I asked him to, he would respond happily.

Remembering the feeling of that kiss, I pick up the happiness of the past and bask in it.

There is no need to feel sorry because the same thing can be done in reality. Even with this thought, the feeling of emptiness has not gone away.

No matter how much I wanted to, I could not express my affection for him now.

Now I am supposed to like Shun.

It is obviously unnatural for me to ask for a kiss from Haruka in such a state.

First of all, I have to somehow become a lover with Haruka.

I had planned to spend more time with Haruka little by little and confess my feelings to him on my birthday. However, I had to change my plan because of the drastic change in Haruka’s attitude.

As I think about it all, my brain becomes hazy.

Why am I in such a messy situation?

Holding hands, kissing, dating, things that are normal for two people who love each other, things that were normal for me in the past, are not possible for me now.

It felt so good to make Haruka jealous, and I couldn’t help but love the pained expression on his face. I couldn’t resist it, so I easily chose this path. Before I noticed, Haruka was no longer interested in me.

I regretted that I had made a mistake in expressing my feelings for Shun.

In the first place, it seems that my behavior in the past few years has been wrong.

If we had become lovers without any problems, I would not have suffered so much.

I get ready, change into my school uniform, and leave the house at the usual time.

If I leave the house at this time, we can be together for a few minutes before Shun comes.

After leaving the house, I wait for Haruka in front of the Obi house

Haruka comes out of the house at the same time as usual.

“Good morning, Haru-kun.”

“Good morning, Miyako.”

We greet each other as usual today.

Haruka’s face was brighter than ever, and he seemed to be in a good mood.

“You seem to be in a good mood, Haru-kun.”

“Yeah? Maybe because things had been going well for me lately.”

For the first time in a long time, Haruka gave me a dazzling smile.

Seeing that, I felt something bad. My heart was in turmoil, and I felt a tightening sensation in my chest. I wanted to know the reason why he had such a happy expression on his face.

The nausea became so strong that I almost gagged.

I put my hand on my chest to calm myself down and tried to keep my composure.

Soon after, Shun arrives and we start walking toward the school.

More than usual, I tried to strike up a conversation with Haruka.

However, Haruka does not respond well, and the conversation does not continue.

In the end, I had to go to school talking with Shun, who I’m not interested in, as usual.

The only time I have a chance to talk with Haruka properly is when I go to school in the morning.

Haruka always sends me messages, I only send messages when I have free time.

While I am at school, I have to read the whole class atmosphere and talk with the group members. It is bizarre to talk to Haruka, who is completely out of my caste.

After school, I cannot go home with him unless I skip the club activities like before.

When will I be able to make spend time with Haruka?

I’m sure things will get better if we go on a date alone together. But it’s hard for me to have a date with him.

The reason is that Haruka always asks me out on dates, and I may or may not accept his invitation. Since I entered the middle school, Haruka has never asked me out on a date..

When I was in the elementary school, Haruka was not discouraged and asked me out on many dates, I invited Shun to go out with us to make him jealous. I want to kill my past self.

I couldn’t ask him to go out with me. Even if I had asked him out, if he rejects me just like he did the other day, I would never recover.

Everything is lost, karmic retribution, and self-inflicted suffering. These are the words that go through my mind.

My tinnitus is bad.

My head hurts.

I feel nauseous.

My mind is in shambles, as the premise that Haruka will always seek me out is crumbling.

?

Arriving at school, I greet my friends and acquaintances who never tire of coming to see me every day.

When I get to the classroom, I get ready for class and move my eyes to the window where Haruka is sitting.

As usual, Haruka is having a friendly chat with Ria. Both of them are smiling and looking happy.

Although they had just met in middle school, Ria has already spent hundreds of times longer time talking with Haruka than I have. I couldn’t help but envy him.

I told myself that he was a boy, so it would be all right. However, my heart was shaken with anxiety because I could not help but see him as a girl.

I went to class thinking only about how I would talk with him.

During the break time, our group talked about the dates that Shinku went on during the holidays.

The first one to mention it was Fudo Akito, who was always on the lookout for girls.

“By the way, Shinku, you wrote on LAIN that you went on a date with a guy in our class, did you go with Shun?”

“Eh? I don’t have any idea about that.”

Apparently Shun hadn’t seen Shinku’s log, and he looked puzzled.

Riho Hibiki and Unikumo Mika immediately joined the conversation.

Hibiki is a beautiful girl with a soft, short black bob hair. Mika, a pretty face with long light brown hair in a half-up twin-tail. Both of them seemed to be curious about the boy who Shinku was interested in and asked her with interest.

“I thought you went on a date with Shun, who did you go on a date with?”

“Is there anyone else you would want to date, Shinku?”

After a short pause, Shinku, who was being pressed by both of them and had the male members’ gazes glued to her, pointed at Haruka silently. They all turned their faces in the direction of the one pointed by Shinku, and were surprised.

Haruka seems to be playing an analog game with Ria, unaware that we are spying on him.

The one whom Shinku is pointing at is apparently only Haruka. I gasp. At the same time, my heart palpitates.

“What, you went with Haru?”

“Yes.”

When Shun questioned with a somewhat tense expression on his face, Shinku answered in the affirmative with a cool face.

“Oh, with him? Why?”

Akito was a little upset. Akito had been playing around with Shinku for a long time, usually making light jokes with Shinku and getting a cold shoulder, so he might be in shock.

“It’s a social lesson. I’ve never been involved with a type of person like him before in my life.”

Shinku may be referring to Haruka’s appearance.

Akito, Shun, and Rui are all wearing their hair bleached or styled with hair styling products, but Haruka is too flashy and outshines them in terms of personality.

“Hey… Why with, Haru-kun?”

I asked in disbelief, even though she had just given the answer.

How can he be going on a date with Shinku when he turned down my date? There must be some mistake.

“Well… He was very insistent on going on a date with me, so I can’t help but indulge him desu wa.”

That’s a lie. That’s impossible.

My head is getting heavy. I can’t think straight.

“So, Shinku, how about going on a date with me this time?”

“I want to go on a date with you too!”

Akito also asks for a date with Shinku.

Seeing this, Hibiki, Mika, and Shirogane Tsuyuri, who had been watching the event, looked at each other with a look of shame on their faces. They seemed to be in a hurry because they had been outclassed by Shinku.

“The first one who asked is Kureha-san, so I will accept him first. I’ll consider the date with Fudo-san.”

“No way…”

Akito’s shoulders slumped and he sagged. Shun smiles briskly, saying he is glad.

Moths are attracted to the light of the lamp, and I feel a little relieved and pat my chest.

I didn’t miss the moment when Shinku smiled with her mouth hanging open for a moment when Shun asked her out on a date. It must have been a strategy to make Shun’s date feel more exclusive than Haruka’s.

It must’ve be a lie that Haruka asked her out. She must have approached my childhood friend Haruka herself.

Besides, dating Shun was a safe bet for her. She can’t go wrong with dating Haruka again.

Still, I was disgusted by the fact that Haruka had turned down my invitation, but went on a date with Shinku.

“So, how was your date with that delinquent?”

Hibiki shows her interest in the date between Haruka and Shinku. I listened to her while giving off an air of unimportance.

“…. Well, it wasn’t bad.”

Seeing Shinku a little shyly, my heart was once again filled with uneasiness.

“And he bought some clothes for me…”

“Clothes! I’m jealous!—“

Haruka bought her clothes, said Shinku.

That may be true, because when I had play dates with Haruka, he always buys me a drink.

He never been bought me clothes though.

After all this time, I looked at the logs that Shinku had posted on LAIN.

Cat cafe, shopping, coffee shop. It was a very mature date course.

There was a picture of Shinku smiling and playing with a cat. Such an unguarded smile could not have been a selfie.

Seeing her log, I was intensely jealous.

I imagined her spending time with Haruka at the cat cafe, playing with the cats.

I imagined that Haruka picked out an outfit for her and gave it to her on the spot.

I imagine resting her feet in a coffee shop, relaxing and having a casual conversation.

All of these were happy dates that filled my heart just by imagining them.

Knowing that Haruka was spending time like that with someone other than me makes my heart ache. My heart throbbed.

If I hadn’t feigned being interested in Shun, I could have had a happy date like this.

He could have even bought me clothes. ….

Filled with regret and despair, I spent the day in a daze.

My memory is so hazy that I can’t even remember what we talked about.

I came back to myself when the volleyball club activity that I had participated at finished at the end of the day.

My stride was narrower than usual, and I walked home with my shoulders slumped and my head drooping.

What have I done so far?

Make lots of memories, express my love to the fullest, cherish and nurture my love, and be happy.

I’ve tormented Haruka, and indulged in my own selfish pleasure. All I have are memories that are no different from masturbation.

Emptiness fills my heart.

As the negative feelings gush out of me with no signs of stopping, I heard a happy-go-lucky voice.

“It’s Miyako-chan! Oi!”

It was Yuzurika, Haruka’s older sister.

She seemed to be on her way for a jog, and came running toward me in her jersey.

She was as beautiful as ever. She is also tall and has large breasts.

However, she has a tattoo of a flame around her right eye and she has numerous piercings on her ears, so she doesn’t seem to attract many men. As expected of her.

“Are you going home now?”

“Can’t you see?”

“You’re as cold as ever!”

I hated Yuzurika.

She is unconditionally loved by Haruka just because she is his sister, and she spends much more time with him than I do.

Besides, Haruka doesn’t have many hobbies, so whenever we talked, Yuzurika was always the topic of conversation. I hated her so much that I wanted to kill her.

Yuzurika came running to me, but she just walked next to me and didn’t say anything.

Just as I was about to ask her about Haruka, Yuzurika spoke up first.

“You finally let Haru go, didn’t you?”

“Eh?”

The words were too abrupt. I was confused, not knowing what she was talking about.

“Haru was crying because Miyako had dumped him the other day.”

“I didn’t!”

I replied without a pause. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

I didn’t dump him.

“Oh, he didn’t say he was dumped, he said he was heartbroken. Sorry, sorry.”

She giggles with a silly smile on her face, and I glare at her. I felt like killing her.

“But it’s the same thing, isn’t it?”

“No.”

If Haruka confessed his feelings for me, I was going to wash my hands of everything I’ve ever done and go out with him genuinely.

I’m going to do a lot of things a lover does that I haven’t been able to do so far.

“Did you enjoy torturing Haru?”

“……”

Yuzurika peered into my face from the side. Startled, I stop dead in my tracks.

Her eyes are not smiling, though her mouth is drawn in a crescent shape.

“Miyako-chan’s presence is fading away from him already, isn’t it?”

“…. That’s a lie.”

“I’m telling you, Haru has found someone he likes…”

“You’re lying!”

Yuzurika’s words were so cruel. I reflexively screamed and tried to save myself, but it was too hard.

I felt the sound and color disappear from the world. I lost my sense of balance, and my body swayed unsteadily.

I feel the blood drain from my face. My lips are parched and my fingertips are cold.

“I’m really glad that he gave up on you, he was always in pain when he was chasing after you.”

Yuzurika spits out words that corner me, words akin to cold blades.

Finally, my body started to tremble.

“Haru-kun is…”

I couldn’t get the words out.

Yuzurika smiled wickedly at me as she saw my deep thought.

“But, it’s too bad. I worked so hard for you, Miyako-chan.”

“…. Eh?”

I don’t remember her doing anything for me.

“Even if Haru goes out with you, if he’s not good at sex, you might break up with him because of it.”

“…. What?”

“That’s why I did lots of sex with Haru and trained him…”

“……?”

I couldn’t understand what she was saying. My mind goes blank. My vision is distorted.

My brain rejects the information in my vision, the words in my ears.

My strength drains out of me, and I fall to the road on my feet.

“I’ve been making love to him over and over, over and over, to make you feel good, Miyako-chan.”

My eyes turn bright red.

“No, that’s not true.”

“But I’ve been f?u?c?k?ed so much that he knows every inch of my body, and lately I don’t do it as much as I used to because I get buckled up and can’t move when I get f?u?c?k?ed.”

“Stop it!”

“I did my best for Miyako-chan, but it doesn’t really matter who he does it with. I’d like him to show off the results of my training with another girl.”

“…. Don’t do that.”

I mumble helplessly.

I couldn’t think straight anymore.

“If you think I’m lying… you’d know the answer if you had sex with Haru, but it’s impossible with the way you are now, no matter how hard you try.”

Yuzurika laughs out loud.

“Well then, I’m going back to jogging. See you later.”

Yuzurika runs away from the place without paying attention to my crumpled up body.

I found myself lying on the bed in my room.

I was too tired to move.

For the next four days, I missed school.

I couldn’t get up, and I couldn’t change into my school uniform.

When I tried to eat the food prepared by the housekeeper robot, I threw up. I tried my best to eat only one bite of the food.

Then I crawl to the bathroom and crawl back to bed.

My sleep is very shallow because I have already had more than enough sleep.

Therefore, I dreamed a lot.

I dream of living happily with Haruka.

I dreamed about kissing him, holding his hand, going on dates with him, and even asked him to help me find clothes.

Sometimes, I was holding a child. My child with Haruka. The baby was so adorable.

Sometimes, I had nightmares. I dreamed that Haruka was having sexual intercourse with Yuzurika. They were painful and heartbreaking.

Whether it is a happy dream or a nightmare, I still feel sad every time I wake up.

When I can move again, I will confess everything to him.

Haruka is kind, so I’m sure he will forgive me.

Today, too, I could not get up from the bed.

I found that a bright red message window was displayed in front of me.