I Want to Fall in Love After Getting Reincarnated as the Heroine on the Verge of a Bad Ending, but My OP Older Brother Won’t Leave Me Alone!? - Chapter 139
Translated by: ShinigamiTori
Chapter 139 ? Rank Exam (Winter of the First Year) 4
Even if I had stayed with everyone, I wouldn’t have been able to truly enjoy myself and would have just kept pretending.
I can’t thank Yoshida enough for his thoughtfulness. I regret that I was too flustered to even say thank you. I’m sure everyone else was just as surprised by the sudden turn of events.
“…. I’m so useless.”
Determined to be completely rejuvenated by the start of the week and thank everyone with a genuine smile, I hugged my bag tightly.
“Rene!”
Soon after, Julius arrived, out of breath, and it was clear from his appearance that he had come in a great hurry.
Seeing Julius in such an unusual state made my chest tighten.
“Yoshida suddenly showed up and said you’d be waiting in the carriage, so I was surprised.”
“Y-Yoshida, really… he’s so…”
My endlessly kind best friend Yoshida?I really cherish him.
Julius boarded the carriage and sat down next to me. His golden brooch shines brightly in the sunlight.
I felt a sense of relief that Julius had made it back to S-rank.
“Good job on the exam.”
“Thank you! You did a great job too, Julius.”
“Yeah. Let’s take it easy tomorrow on our day off.”
Julius gently held my hand after saying that. He didn’t comment on my exam results. I felt the tension in my shoulders ease and leaned lightly on Julius.
“Rest until we get there.”
“…. Thank you.”
The carriage slowly started moving, and a calm silence filled the air. This serene silence was exactly what I needed right now.
???
Eventually, we arrived at the mansion, and Julius, who had escorted me to my room, called my name again.
“Do you want to be alone, or is it okay if I stay?”
The fact that he speaks in such an uncharacteristic way shows how much he cares.
After a moment, I replied, “I want you to stay with me, Julius.”
“Thank you.”
Although I should be the one thanking him, Julius just smiles and takes my hand, and leads me inside.
As we sat side by side on the sofa, an overwhelming fatigue washed over me. I knew I had to shift my mood, but it wasn’t as easy as I hoped.
Still, I felt I needed to report and thank Julius, who had been my biggest supporter, so I opened my mouth to speak.
“Um, I’m sorry. In the end, I couldn’t—”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help.”
Before I could finish my sentence, Julius pulled me into an embrace. Surprised by the sudden gesture, I heard him continue.
“… I’m really frustrated too. I’m sorry.”
Julius’s sorrowful voice and his warm embrace made my vision blur with tears.
I want to tell him that there’s nothing he needs to apologize for, but the words just won’t come out.
“Rene did her best. More than anyone else.”
“…Ugh?uhh, uwaaahh…”
Before long, tears begin to spill from my eyes, and sobs escape my lips.
Even though I had been holding it in for a long time, once I let my guard down, it was no use. My emotions overflowed uncontrollably.
“Hic… sob… ugh…”
Julius gently patted my head as I cried like a child.
“Tell me everything you’re feeling.”
“Y-You won’t be disappointed?”
“Of course not. I want to hear it.”
His voice, soft and soothing like that of someone calming a child, made my tears start flowing again. I couldn’t hold them back after being spoken to so gently.
Most importantly, I deeply believed that Julius would accept me no matter what.
“It’s so upsetting… I’m really, really frustrated and sad.”
“Mmhm.”
“Because I worked so hard… I did everything I could.”
“I know. I really think it’s amazing how determined you are, Rene.”
After all, just half a year ago, I was an F-rank. The fact that I’ve come this far so smoothly feels like a miracle.
Even though I realize that, I’m still overwhelmed with a bitter feeling.
??Looking back, in my previous life, I worked hard at both my job and my studies, but I only did so because it was necessary to survive.
That’s why, even if I failed or experienced setbacks, I didn’t feel any regret. I was able to just accept it and move on.
But now, I realize that this feeling comes from having worked hard for myself and for those who cheer me on, something I only understand now.
“I know it’s unavoidable and there’s nothing I can do about it, but… I’m feeling a little bit frustrated…”
“…. Yeah.”
I know that it can’t be helped that my starting point is on the lowest side. But being so close to a bad ending all the time, I had no margin for error.
If I can’t move up to C-rank in the next ranking exam, I don’t know what will happen to me.
Up until now I had been telling myself that if I tried hard, everything would be fine, but it was hard not to feel anxious.
Still, speaking my true feelings out loud made my heart feel a bit lighter.
“It’s going to be okay. Your efforts will definitely pay off, Rene.”
Julius’s gentle voice made my vision waver. When he said that, I truly felt like everything would be okay.
After that, Julius continued to gently respond to my complaints with kind words and nods.
I don’t think I’ve ever complained so much in my life. It feels like I’ve let out a lifetime’s worth. It wasn’t like me, and I started to feel embarrassed.
“….”
“….”
Meanwhile, Julius remains silent with his face buried in my shoulder. When I called his name to wonder what was wrong, he apologized again, “I’m sorry.”
“… I feel like I might cry a little too.”
“Eh?”
“I feel sadder when you’re suffering than when I’m suffering.”
Surprised, I listened as Julius continued.
“I want to do everything I can for you, and if anyone makes you cry, I’ll make sure to deal with them immediately.”
“T-That’s a bit scary…”
The serious tone made it seem like he might really do it, and I felt like crying for a different reason.
“A-Actually, I think having some setbacks is necessary, rather than everything going smoothly. For dramatic effect.”
“What?”
With my odd attempt at encouragement, Julius managed a small smile, and I felt a bit of relief.
If Julius looked sad, it would make me very sad too, especially if I was the cause.
“… Can I cry just a little bit more?”
“Of course. Cry as much as you want.”
“After that, I’ll put in a lot of effort starting from tomorrow.”
I wrapped my arms around Julius’s back and buried my face in his chest. Though my tears wet his uniform, I resolved to compensate for it properly, so I didn’t hold back any longer.
Julius continued to hold me and gently pat my back.
“… I’ll always be on your side, Rene.”
After crying my heart out, I finally fell asleep to Julius’s comforting words.
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