I Will Never Submit to Miss Grim Reaper - Chapter 124
Chapter 124: Rozen Maiden: Zurückspulen
I suspect Miss Grim Reaper is the punishment sent by heaven to me. Without a doubt, beyond the concept of “Death,” there must be some higher existence, such as the Western “God,” or our “Jade Emperor,” or perhaps Anubis, Cthulhu, Gaia, the Giant of Light… in any case, there must be some higher order of gods watching over all this. If there are indeed gods, then being transformed into a loli by Miss Grim Reaper, and all the subsequent events, make sense.
In the comfortably warm cat-filled area of the café, I, sitting in the pile of cats, am in my mind recalling everything I did in the past. The mischievous things I did when I was a child… let me think, it seems that when I was very young, due to a shortage of bathrooms, I was forced to share a bathroom with girls for a while and saw a lot of inappropriate content.
Then, when I was a bit older, during elementary school, I once copied my desk mate’s exam paper and modified a few questions. As a result, I scored 99, while my desk mate scored only 85. I corrected the questions he got wrong, and the teacher criticized him for why Yin Shiren could score 99, and he only scored 85. As a result, my desk mate was gloomy for a week.
In junior high school, when I lived in the dormitory, I seem to have used my good friend’s shower gel in the bathroom, and… I also secretly ate his snacks. What else was there? Is changing his QQ signature to “We are all little monsters” counted? [1]
Then came high school. I almost studied desperately throughout high school. During breaks, I was either called back by the dean to make dumplings or work on the assembly line to earn money for the welfare home. I hardly did anything bad.
As for university… countless times, I cursed those dormitory roommates who smoked in my heart. It was also during this time that I began to search online for various explicit resources and came into contact with many aspects of the dark side of society.
After entering society, things became even more excessive. Not only is the browser filled with explicit browsing history, but the computer’s hard drive is full of “New Folder” and “New Folder 2.” Even the phone is filled with pink and blue apps, with the “Download” category in the green apps occupying more than 30% of the phone’s storage.
As someone so heinously guilty, I really should be “condemned.”
I have to admit… after becoming a girl, although my orientation is still towards girls, my relevant “desires” have decreased significantly compared to my male period. Not only do I hardly look at the things on the computer, but I also rarely actively seek related images and videos.
The reason for this is, first of all, I have become busier recently. There are more things and work to do, busy from morning to night every day. I play the role of a maid, do grocery shopping, cook, and after a bit of personal time, I have to type and process group messages, and handle editing and answering various questions from readers. There is almost no time left for “explicit” activities.
Secondly… because I am now a girl, and not just any girl, but an adorable girl from another world with perfect bodily measurements. If there’s any curiosity, I can just lower my head or look in the mirror. Even if I do feel like indulging in explicit activities, I can do so when bathing and enjoy looking at my body however I want.
Although I have a loli figure and almost no breasts, even at that time, my “taste” was not the “big breasts,” so this didn’t matter.
Why did I have to go and make fun of Miss Grim Reaper’s figure back then… It was really like I was kicking a hornet’s nest. Even Loess Plateau looks like a small thing compared to me.
“Very well, our group leader is willing to admit defeat.”
Inside the cat living area, Tongtong, who witnessed everything, looks satisfied. She glanced at “Maple,” who is still lying in the pile of cats with closed eyes, enjoying the kneading of the cat on her stomach. She said to me, “Here you go, it’s your turn to answer the second question.”
Yin Xiamo walked over and handed me a pen and paper, turning away voluntarily.
“Uh?” I, among the cat group, suddenly realized something. “Wasn’t it my turn to ask?”
“The rule is that I, as the witness, ask the questions,” Tongtong replied.
“I used to play like this in the dormitory, let roommates ask questions, and then we take turns writing and guessing. It helps prevent the possibility of tricky questions.”
Well, as long as you two didn’t coordinate, I have no objection.
“Okay.” I nodded. “Let’s get started.”
“So, for the second question, Nuo’er writes, Xiamo guesses. Are you ready?” Tongtong asked.
She glanced at me, then at Yin Xiamo, who had turned away beside me. “Okay, I’ll come up with a question… our group leader… oh no, cough, Yin Nuo, is your position the highest at home? Yes or no, please write down the answer, Nuo’er.”
Huh?
The highest position?
I took several seconds to contemplate this question. There are currently three aspects to consider in this question.
The first point is the meaning of “home.” If it refers to the “safe haven” in my understanding, then undoubtedly, I am the owner of the home. Well… at most! At most, there can be Yin Xiamo in this home, and no one else is allowed to enter.
But if “home” refers to the place where I currently live, then I seem to be the one with the lowest status. Currently, Ai Luodi’s rented house already has four girls. Ai Luodi and Tuzi are on the second floor, and Yin Xiamo and I are on the first floor. Regarding status… the house belongs to Ai Luodi, and she has absolute sovereignty over that property. So, she should be the head of the household there, at least that’s how I understand it.
Ai Luodi holds the highest position, Lan Jiajia is her romantic interest, Yin Xiamo is an old tenant who has rented their house for several years, and I am just a lazy author under Ai Luodi’s wing. I earn only a few subscription fees every month, and the website even has to subsidize me with a full attendance reward.
Similarly, I am also an author under Lan Jiajia. Without a doubt, an author’s status is lower than that of an editor, and the same applies to Miss Grim Reaper. For ordinary people, the position of Miss Grim Reaper is undoubtedly supreme.
The second point, without assuming the definition of “home,” considering the question itself, I can also understand it as “Do you consider yourself to have the highest status at home?”
The third point, I need to consider Yin Xiamo’s answer.
Without a doubt, from Yin Xiamo’s perspective, I am definitely not the one with the highest status at home. Regardless of the definition of “home,” as long as Yin Xiamo is included, she can definitely crush me with her age, broad knowledge, and magical abilities. Leaving aside Ai Luodi and Lan Jiajia, just Miss Grim Reaper is currently a presence I cannot deal with.
In other words, from Yin Xiamo’s perspective, she will definitely not think that I am the one with the highest status at home. But this is a game, and she has the motivation to “win” in it. Therefore, she will definitely also consider what answer I am likely to fill in, and may say something contrary to what she thinks in order to win the game.
This is a game of strategy.
Can Yin Xiamo guess what answer I will fill in? Yes.
She knows I want to be the head of the household, so her initial guess might be that I will fill in “Yes.” But because I guessed wrong on the first question, she will probably think… I am intentionally filling in “No” to secure a victory in the game.
In other words, Yin Xiamo has a high chance of guessing that I will fill in “No,” in order to anticipate my anticipation.
Given her somewhat dominant personality, if I fill in “Yes,” the probability of her guessing wrong is quite high.
Great, I’ve got this.
I picked up the pen and quickly wrote my answer on the paper: “Yes.”
“Have you finished?”
Seeing my actions, Tongtong cleared her throat. “Well then, Miss Xiamo, please turn around and state your answer.”
“Yes.”
As soon as she turned around, Yin Xiamo uttered the word I least wanted to hear, catching me off guard with her surprising expression.
“I guess, Nuo’er wrote ‘Yes’ on the paper, claiming she has the highest status at home.”
Huh?
Why?
I shot Yin Xiamo an incredulous look.
Is there anything like “mind-reading” in the magic of the other world?
No, wait. If there really is a similar magic, Miss Grim Reaper wouldn’t be behaving the way she is now. Given her personality, it just wouldn’t be her style to play dirty, even in a little game like this.
Did she… really guess it?
“Is it correct? Is it correct?” Curious, Tongtong asked, “Nuo’er, what did you write?”
“Her mood is written all over her face!”
Yin Xiamo walked over with a smile, “Did I get it right, little pet?”
“Why could you guess it!”
I flipped the paper in disbelief, “In theory… in theory, you shouldn’t have guessed this answer first, then thought that I would guess that you guessed this answer, and finally chose the opposite answer, right?”
Yin Xiamo reached out her small, snow-white hand and helped me remove a clump of cat hair that had drifted onto my head. “Anyway, I guessed it. Luck is also part of skill.”
“So… cough…”
Tongtong looked somewhat disapproving, “Nuo’er, you lost again. You have to promise Xiamo a condition.”
“I…”
“Ding dong! Welcome!”
At this moment, I heard the sound of the sensor at the main entrance of the hall not far away, habitually turning around and saying, “Welcome!”
“I’ll go with you.”
Yin Xiamo came to my side, took my hand, and then smiled mysteriously at Tongtong behind her, “The condition Nuo’er owes me, I’ll bring it up next time we have a chance!”
No, I still couldn’t understand how she guessed it…
“Did you use magic?”
Walking towards the main entrance of the hall, I lowered my voice and said to Yin Xiamo beside me, “Mind-reading?”
I feel like I must clarify this question.
Because with the personality of Yin Xiamo, there’s no reason for her to guess that I would fill in “Yes.”
If I don’t clarify this question, I probably won’t be able to sleep tonight.
Maybe before going to bed tonight, I can console myself in my mind, “Forget it, it’s just a truth or dare challenge, just a little game lost,” only to suddenly wake up at two in the morning—why did I lose two questions in a row?
“Mind-reading? There’s no such thing, even in another world. There are only a few creatures, like jellyfish tentacle monsters, that can roughly gauge the emotions of a person based on their brainwaves. Magic can’t achieve precise mind-reading.”
Facing my question, Yin Xiamo placed her hands against her head, looking relaxed. “I swear, it’s truly a victory based on skill.”
I became even more unconvinced. “I don’t believe it!”
“Well… let me explain the thought process to you.” Yin Xiamo pulled my arm into her embrace, holding it with both hands. Her little head leaned towards my ear. “For the first question, asking if I like cats. I do, so I filled in ‘like.'”
“Is it that simple?”
“Yes, because we’re going to get married in the future, an old married couple. We should be bold about our likes and dislikes. If I chose not to like cats, even if it was an act, it would create doubts in your heart. You might suspect whether I truly don’t like cats. That’s something I really don’t want to see happen.”
Yin Xiamo rested her head on my shoulder. “Doubt is the most powerful enemy. I don’t want any suspicions between us.”
It seems… there’s some logic to that?
“What about the second question?” I continued the conversation. “In terms of status at home, Ai Luodi is definitely the highest, right?”
“I didn’t think that much about the second question. My criterion for thinking about this question was… whether you would be happy.”
“Huh?”
“It means not directly considering what answer you would choose. Instead, the standard was, ‘If I choose this answer, would Nuo’er be happy?’ Nuo’er definitely wants to be the head of the household, right? So, I’ll choose this answer. Even if I’m wrong, I must have gained some favor in Nuo’er’s heart. I think it’s a win-win situation.”
“Since Nuo’er wants to find a warm little home, to be a princess in the castle, then I can be the princess’s personal maid, it’s okay!”
Hmm… darn it, she truly is an over six thousand-year-old demon…
I can’t believe I felt a little moved when she said, “Taking my happiness as the standard.”
“Looking at the current results, it seems I made the right choice.”
Seeing me remain silent, Yin Xiamo released my hand. “Don’t forget, you owe me a condition!”
Tsk… too cunning. I’m ready to glare with my eyes.
“……”
As Yin Xiamo and I walked out of the cat living area towards the main entrance of the hall, I instinctively slowed my pace, greeting the two male customers with a grace befitting a lady. “Two gentlemen? There are seats available here!”
The two young men—one dressed like a college student in a T-shirt, casual pants, and a single-shoulder bag. The other with a more mature appearance, wearing a shirt on the upper body, jeans on the lower body, and no backpack—were different from the other customers.
“Wow!”
Unlike other customers, these two young men exclaimed as soon as they saw me. “There really is such a cute maid… Nuo’er, Nuo’er, you must be… the Nuo’er that Tongtong posted in the group, right?”
Tongtong? In the group?
You guys wouldn’t…
“You… you couldn’t really be our group leader, right? Uncle Loves Loli?”
Under my puzzled gaze, the young man on the left, dressed like a college student and standing at almost six feet tall, exclaimed in surprise, “I… I’m Ice Spirit, remember?”
“Ah…”
They really came.
I felt a bit embarrassed. “Um… about that… it’s just a bit…”
I’ve always referred to myself as “Uncle” in my readers’ group. Of course, in real life, I am an uncle as well.
At that time, my author profile picture was a very ordinary male avatar, and my QQ avatar was Khamsin Nbh’w, the Flame Haze Warrior from “Shakugan no Shana,” whom Margery Daw called “Old Master.” The general image was a boy with an orange hood, carrying a large pillar on his back. Since this anime was from 2007, those who had watched it were mostly of a certain age. So, anyone who recognized this anime understood that the person using this avatar, me, was an “uncle.” For those who didn’t know the anime, their first reaction to the avatar wouldn’t lead them to think it’s a girl pretending to be an uncle.
Based on my experience, the avatars girls use on the internet can be categorized into several types: animal photos, cats and dogs, selfies, and anime-style avatars of cute girls. Only a few girls who like Yaoi might use some ancient-style beautiful boys as their avatars. Here, we are specifically talking about “ancient-style beautiful boys.” However, in most cases, no girl would use a male side character from an anime as their avatar, especially not those side characters in harem or non-yaoi anime.
For an anime like “Black Bullet,” if a girl were to use avatars from it, she might choose Enju Aihara, Tina Sprout, or even the male protagonist Rentarou Satomi. Girls who like cute characters might opt for avatars like Tina or Kisara Tendou. However, it’s highly unlikely that they would choose a male supporting character like Kagetane Hiruko, the weird guy wearing a smiling mask, as their avatar.
Additionally, during that time, I was very busy with work. After graduating from university, I was navigating the ups and downs of society, and my mindset underwent a slight change. I was so occupied that when it came to updating my novels, I approached it in a business-like manner in the comment sections and reader forums. I didn’t have the energy to follow the trend of other authors saying things like, “Oh no, this isn’t allowed. Everyone, subscribe quickly!” My way of speaking and wording was as uninteresting as any ordinary uncle. Therefore, people in the group had always firmly believed in my identity as “Uncle.”
“The rumors online are actually true! Oh my god, I… I feel like I’m dreaming right now!”
On my end, it’s still awkward. The guy in front of me, who calls himself “Ice Spirit,” is getting excited. He takes a few steps towards me, then takes a step back as if he remembered something: “Sorry, I’m too excited. I never thought the supposed middle-aged group leader would turn out to be a cute girl like you… Are you part-timing here recently? On summer break?”
“Not part-time,” I reply.
“Full-time, and I’m already an adult.”
“Adult?!” Ice Spirit is even more surprised, “That’s impossible! I saw some rumors online saying that Yin Nuo’er is underage, hired by the owner to shoot advertisements…”
“You already know it’s just a rumor”
The guy in the shirt next to us couldn’t stand it anymore, “Brother, others have personally told you she’s an adult. Do you still doubt it? Don’t you believe our group leader, or do you not trust us, your good brothers?”
“Ah… Haha, sorry, I’m just too surprised. It’s the first time I’ve seen such a perfect… perfect girl.”
Ice Spirit scratched his head, looking me up and down, “Dude, just look at her. Nuo’er’s image is just like the female lead in a middle-aged man’s novel – a little loli, incredibly cute, perfect figure, flawless skin… I’ve really never seen such a cute girl in real life before, it’s like a dream, especially…”
“Especially since this girl is already an adult, it’s really hard not to make people doubt…”
Well, don’t look at me, when I first looked at this body in the mirror, I also had some doubts about life.
At least from my social experience in recent years, there are indeed pretty and cute girls, but meeting someone who ticks so many boxes all at once – good-looking, great figure, pleasant voice… such girls are considered “impossible” in the average person’s perception.
It’s like when you’re playing a game and choosing a firearm. One gun has a fast firing rate, okay. Another has good accuracy, that’s fine too. It shoots far, no problem. But if you say there’s a gun that shoots fast, shoots far, and also shoots accurately, I, for one, don’t believe it.
This gun makes me feel like I’m playing CS Vietnam mode, with Kangxi and Qianlong riding a Japanese tricycle and pulling out a modified Desert Eagle to exchange for a Gatling magazine and shooting wildly at people. It’s so ridiculous. [2]
Especially in today’s society… the “labor shortage” during Ouyang Xue’s recruitment was already very evident. Perfect girls might exist, but a perfect girl who is willing to work as a maid, getting tired to death every day and still having to smile at customers, and willing to have normal conversations with ordinary people – that perfect girl does not exist.
“Haha, I think it’s great anyway. The supposed middle-aged group leader turning into a little loli is nothing short of fantastic.”
The guy next to Ice Spirit walked over to me and said, “Uncle, cough… no, Nuo’er, I’m Duck, Physics Duck.”
“Hello.”
I waved to the guy and then gestured towards the person next to me, Yin Xiamo, “This is my friend, Yin Xiamo.”
“I know. I’ve watched the highlights of that streamer several times already. Are you two playing the roles of a hero and a Grim Reaper online? Planning to debut as idols?”
Physics Duck still gave me the impression of being chatty and playful, just like in the group. He crossed his arms and put on a serious look: “So, Miss Grim Reaper, can you show us ordinary folks your abilities?”
“Hmm?” Yin Xiamo was curious, “What kind of demonstration do you want?”
“I don’t know much about the abilities of Grim Reapers, but since you’re from another world, you should know some magic, right?”
The physics Duck put on a serious expression: “Have you heard of the Cthulhu Mythos?”
“Are you talking about that big octopus or the crowbar in Nyarlathotep?”
“Oh? You even know about that?” Physics Duck showed an approving expression. “So, you also know about our Lord?”
“I’m not very interested in giant octopuses and tentacle monsters. In another world, we usually use them in the demon realm for snacks—slice them, barbecue them, very rich in protein.”
Yin Xiamo thought for a moment. “But when it comes to magic, I do know a bit.”
“Really?”
Even Ice Spirit, who was nearby, ran over, “Miss Xiamo, you know magic?”
Yin Xiamo corrected, “It’s magic.” [3]
“I understand, I understand, character settings – magic.”
Ice Spirit stared at Yin Xiamo. “How about a little demonstration?”
“Sure.”
Under the gaze of both of them and some well-fed customers around, Yin Xiamo walked up to the “Physics Duck,” extended her hands, and moved her fingers, imitating the manner of magicians in videos. “You see, I don’t have anything in my hands now.”
“Indeed.”
Physics Duck focused on Yin Xiamo’s maid sleeves. “Are you going to produce a dove from there?”
“Since you like Nyarlathotep, then I can…”
Maintaining the posture of raised hands, Yin Xiamo slowly circled around and approached the young man’s back. Suddenly, at a very fast speed, she patted his back and then, in a rather exaggerated manner, pulled out a long scythe from behind his shirt.
“There you go, your weapon.”
Amid the astonished looks of the surrounding crowd, Yin Xiamo effortlessly pulled out the approximately one-meter-long black and red scythe. “The indescribable rod-shaped object of the cosmic CQ, the holy sword of physics. Is this it?”
“Huh?”
With this move, Yin Xiamo left the Physics Duck, Ice Spirit, and the customers around in awe.
“Any magic tricks too?”
“Sure! Sure!”
*Clap, clap, clap…*
Following that, scattered applause echoed through the café, drawing several customers who were originally playing with cats or sipping coffee on the second floor to come out and watch.
Only I, standing nearby, silently muttered to myself— ‘Xiao Mo… don’t use magic in front of Muggles.’
“How did you do that?”
Staring at the scythe in Yin Xiamo’s hands, the Physics Duck widened his mouth. “You’re not really a magician, are you?”
“Do you like it? If you do, considering your years of subscribing to Nuo’er’s novels…”
Yin Xiamo handed the scythe to Physics Duck. “Consider this a gift for you.”
“Huh?”
“You can use it to influence your friends and turn them into faithful followers of Cthulhu.”
Seemingly doing something very ordinary, Yin Xiamo forcefully handed the scythe to the Physics Duck, then grabbed his hand, directed the scythe towards Ice Spirit’s side, and gave him a binding motion to his stomach.
“Ah!”
Ice Spirit winced. “What… what are you doing?”
Immediately after, with a “clang” sound, a hand grenade with a bow tied around it dropped to the floor between Ice Spirit’s legs.
Many customers in the vicinity had already taken out their phones and started recording.
“The blasphemous hand grenade of the cosmic CQC.”
Bending down to pick up the grenade, Yin Xiamo casually tossed it —
*Bang!*
The grenade exploded in mid-air, releasing a plethora of colorful confetti.
A nearby robotic vacuum, which had a cat lying on top of it, sensed the debris and laboriously moved toward the scattered confetti.
“This… this!”
Ice Spirit widened his eyes, touched the spot on his stomach where the scythe had hit him, and checked his pants, “Are you really a magician?”
“Such weapons are not suitable for use by you humans.”
With a nearly imperceptible movement, Yin Xiamo swept past the Physics Duck, and in the next second, the scythe in the guy’s hands disappeared.
“Do you have another magic trick?”
Yin Xiamo returned to behind me, seemingly catching a strand of my hair, “I don’t have doves, but I can conjure other items, like this…”
After saying that, Yin Xiamo seemed to manipulate something above my head. Amid the amazed exclamations of the surrounding customers, she came back to me, holding a rose in her hand. Then, she knelt down on one knee before me.
“Great hero! Will you marry me?”
*Clap, clap, clap…*
“So strong, are all maids this versatile now?”
“She can even do magic, haha, today’s trip wasn’t in vain!”
“Say yes, say yes! Nuo’er, quickly say yes to Xiamo!”
“……”
This farce quickly concluded in a cheerful atmosphere. I guided Ice Spirit and Physics Duck to the chairs where Tongtong and Maple had previously sat, helping them tidy up a table for two.
“Uncl… Nuo’er, I’m guilty. I shouldn’t have teased you in the group and said bad things about you.”
While handing them the menus, Physics Duck was still being playful, “I’ll go reward your novel right now, so that your Miss Grim Reaper doesn’t come after me…”
“Cut it out.”
I gave him a disdainful look, “If you guys can subscribe to my books on time every day, making my reading statistics look better, I’d be grateful enough…”
Just as I was speaking, the sound of “ding-dong! Welcome!” came from the entrance.
“You two take a look at the menu, I’ll go attend to the new guest.”
“Welcome!”
I quickly walked toward the entrance, and when I saw the person coming in, I stumbled a bit and almost fell.
The newcomer was a blonde, blue-eyed foreign girl dressed in an outfit similar to the protagonist’s in “Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear.” While the café already had quite a few people in cosplay, her somewhat bulky and extravagant outfit still stood out.
“Ah, you must be Nuo’er, right? I’m Xiongxiong from the group, coming from a small country.”
Under my gaze, the blonde girl spoke, her voice crisp and bright with a foreign accent, “My ship had already arrived, but I heard in the group that there’s a cosplay exhibition gathering here, so I quickly bought my favorite outfit and came over. I hope I haven’t caused you any trouble.”
“……”
……
??????? (W?men d?u shì xi?o guài shòu) is a Chinese phrase that means “We are all little monsters.” It is a popular phrase in China, and it is often used to express a sense of humor or playfulness. It can also be used to express a sense of individuality or uniqueness.
For example:
“??????????????????” – “We are all little monsters, we can do anything.”
This is actually a joke.
Kangxi and Qianlong, two of the most famous emperors of China, are riding a tricycle that was originally used by Japanese soldiers during World War II. They are carrying a modified Desert Eagle pistol that has been converted to use a Gatling magazine. When they see an enemy player, they open fire with the pistol, creating a hail of bullets.
Well, this becomes not funny when it is translated and explained.
The word “magic” spoken by the “Ice Spirit” is different from the word “magic” spoken by “Xiamo.”
This is simply a matter of the limitations of English vocabulary, other languages have their own vocabulary for this. “Ice Spirit” uses the term “magic” for magic performances, while “Xiamo” uses it for sorcery.