I Will Never Submit to Miss Grim Reaper - Chapter 130
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- Chapter 130 - Longing Needs Time to Heal Slowly
Chapter 130: Longing Needs Time to Heal Slowly [1]
One can clearly feel Ouyang Xue’s sense of loss on the hospital bed. The warm, fiery red sunset shines diagonally through the nearby window, casting a bit of brightness on the empty space between the four hospital beds in the ward.
“I should arrange for more people to deal with such emergencies…” speaking in a very low voice, Ouyang Xue on the hospital bed glanced at the needle in her hand and some patches on her chest. She then looked at the continuously beeping instrument at the bedside and shifted her gaze to me, asking, “Nuo’er, what time is it now?”
Having just checked my phone, I replied, “It’s half-past five.”
“Is this the Fifth People Hospital?”
“Yes.”
“Then you should go back first, I’ll be fine.”
Upon hearing this, Ouyang Xue’s face showed a clear expression of anxiety. “In that promotional video, you are our flagship. On the first day of the new store opening, it’s better for you to…”
“Is it better for me to go back to the store so we can attract more customers?”
I interrupted Ouyang Xue’s words, saying, “Sister Ouyang, after you woke up, you didn’t even ask me immediately what illness you had.”
“Huh?” Ouyang Xue seemed a bit stunned by my somewhat assertive tone. “What illness? Isn’t it just a cold, and then I forgot to drink water and got heatstroke standing in the sun?”
“Your main issue is gastric bleeding,” I sighed. “Excessive gastric bleeding led to anemia, coupled with a high fever, dehydration, and a series of factors that caused you to faint.”
“Sister Ouyang, you’re not taking care of yourself at all.”
While I had pushed myself a bit due to unemployment and lack of money in the past, I only stayed up late to an exaggerated extent. I would still sleep when tired, and I would have three meals a day. Even if there was no food, I would boil some rice porridge to drink. It was not to the extent of Ouyang Xue’s disregard for her own well-being.
“Gastric bleeding?” Hearing me utter those words, Ouyang Xue paused for a moment and then revealed a “so that’s how it is” expression. “It seems what they say on the internet is true.”
I was puzzled. “Internet?”
“I had gastric ulcers before, so I searched online. The doctors mentioned that if not taken care of, it could progress to bleeding or even perforation.”
Ouyang Xue glanced at the young man playing with his phone on the adjacent hospital bed. “What does the doctor say about the current situation?”
I remained silent for a moment. “The doctor said you need to stay in the hospital for a few days and get plenty of rest.”
“No, I can’t.” Ouyang Xue almost blurted out, “The café’s advertisement has already been sent out, and the event has just started. If I go to the hospital now, all the efforts before will be in vain.”
“Well, then what do you suggest?”
I intentionally used an impatient tone, saying, “You want to go back without treating the illness? Risk a recurrence of the old ailment, faint again, and then have the ambulance bring you back?”
“At least hold on for these few days,” Ouyang Xue, still not entirely clear-headed, replied. “Today is Friday, and tomorrow and the day after tomorrow are the weekends. More people will come to the store, and we’ll work hard for just those two days. As long as we get through those two days…”
“Sister Ouyang!” For the first time, I felt so powerless towards someone. “Do you really not trust us?”
“It’s not a matter of trust or distrust. With me around, the café can do better. We can do better…”
Ouyang Xue hesitated to meet my gaze. “The first few days of opening are crucial. If we do well, the café’s customer flow will be high. Since we can do our best, we should strive to do so.”
“……”
This time, I didn’t follow her words.
The instrument on the bedside cabinet that monitored the heartbeat continued to rhythmically “drip” and “drip.”
The IV fluid connected to Ouyang Xue’s left hand swayed slightly in the sunset, and a small round bottle above the metal rod seemed to refract a faint rainbow from the intravenous fluid.
“Sister Ouyang…”
After about ten seconds of silence, I slowly spoke, “Are you in need of money?”
“Huh?” Seeming to anticipate what I was going to say, Ouyang Xue smiled bitterly. “No, I just… I just don’t want to lose.”
“Lose to whom?”
“Lose to… myself.”
“Sister Ouyang, you’ve been through a lot before, haven’t you?”
I pulled the small chair behind me forward and took Ouyang Xue’s hand, the one with the IV drip, gently into mine, holding the slightly cool hand of this grown woman.
“Can you talk to me? For example, about the previous virtual idol incident—what happened with the company back then? Why did they make you popular and then dismiss you?”
Mr. Wang had previously discussed Ouyang Xue’s situation with me, mentioning that he heard from Ouyang Xue’s colleagues that this elder sister had dreamed of becoming an idol since childhood. After entering society, she had been working hard for this dream and had successfully become a virtual idol for a period of time, only to be eventually dismissed by the company.
“Where did you hear all this from?”
My words brought a somewhat helpless expression to Ouyang Xue’s face. “Did Li Chen tell you?” I said, “Never mind that, just tell me.”
When I came in earlier, the doctor also advised me that if Ouyang Xue woke up, it would be best to talk to her more, about anything. It could help distract the patient and ease their mood.
“Curiosity is strong in little kids, huh?”
Perhaps moved by my curious expression, Ouyang Xue helplessly continued, “It can’t really be considered getting fired. It’s just that I felt tired later on and didn’t renew the contract. There were some… how should I put it, unpleasant things that happened at that time.”
“My childhood dream was to become a star. Our village’s grocery store had a TV, and it often played programs about celebrities or idols. I would imitate the stars and idols, practice dancing, and on my way home from school, I would do long-distance running and exercises to stay fit.”
“Later, when I entered society… idols and stars seemed too distant for me. I worked odd jobs for a while. I saw advertisements recruiting broadcasters in a few local KTVs, so I inquired about them. They said if a broadcaster did well, they could be sent to the headquarters to become a virtual idol. Their company specialized in training virtual idols and sending them to various big companies as spokespersons or something. They said it was a popular trend in society.”
“At that time, I didn’t understand. I thought virtual idols were still idols and should be similar to stars. Confused, I signed a contract with them and worked as a broadcaster for one or two years. At the beginning, my salary was very low because I didn’t want to cooperate with them in deceiving people, like… playing companions.”
Ouyang Xue looked at me. “Do you know what “playing companions” are?”
I nodded. “I do.”
“That company that trains broadcasters does exactly that. Their industry chain is very large, and ‘playing companions’ are just one part of it. They recruit skilled broadcasters, as well as girls with pleasant voices and distinctive features. They then use the photos to operate those accompanying player accounts. When someone places an order, the skilled male broadcasters handle the computer work, while the girls with good voices and attractive appearances handle the chatting. So when someone orders a female accompanying player, they are actually getting two people—one with skills who doesn’t talk and another who talks but doesn’t play games.”
Ouyang Xue, with a somewhat hoarse voice, continued, “Then I didn’t want to do that. I felt it was deceiving people. So the company assigned me to that brand virtual broadcaster training department to practice dancing and singing. This department is the coldest, the most tiring, and the least profitable. It’s somewhat like training and talent shows. Every day at the company, we did hygiene and logistics. We only got to practice dancing when there was nothing else to do. Then the leaders would post our dance and singing videos online, and companies with demands for virtual idols or spokespersons could buy us out in one go.”
“Huh?” I didn’t quite understand. “Buy out? Can people be bought?”
“So it’s somewhat like elective courses and training.”
Ouyang Xue lowered her head, seemingly lost in some memories. “If some larger brands are interested in the realm of second dimensions or virtual broadcasters, they’ll negotiate with the company I signed with. They buy the trained girls from our dance training department to operate on their side, occasionally posting slightly edgy videos to harvest attention. For example, the company that bought me out primarily sells computers. They arranged for me to do live broadcasts, promote products, and introduce them on major websites like Tongmeng. They set up a virtual spokesperson image for me, and I would go live during work hours, with the company’s online store link displayed in the broadcast room.”
“I roughly understand.”
After thinking for a moment, I said, “So, Sister Ouyang, in the beginning, the company you first signed with primarily trained virtual idols and then sold the trained individuals to companies that needed ready-made virtual idols? Similar to outsourcing?”
“It’s more or less like that.” Ouyang Xue nodded. “Actually, I didn’t learn much at that idol training company. I mostly did odd jobs there, had very few opportunities to actually practice dancing or singing. It’s more like… they noticed our appearance or voice, signed us up first, gave us very low wages, and then found opportunities to sell us to others.”
So, this falls under the category of middlemen making a profit from the price difference in virtual idols, right?
“At that computer company, did you get a commission for being a virtual spokesperson?”
“Very little. It was a few yuan for every computer sold. They required me to work a full 10 hours a day with almost no days off. After going live every day, I had to maintain the preset virtual idol image, wearing motion capture suits, dancing, chatting with the audience, and promoting products. At that time, I knew nothing about computers, so after work, I self-studied related knowledge to understand their brand and products…”
At this point, Ouyang Xue seemed to recall some past events and fell silent for a few seconds. “Later, due to some profit issues, the company I signed with and the company that bought me as a spokesperson couldn’t come to an agreement. My contract also expired, so I didn’t continue working there.”
“Huh?” I was somewhat surprised at how quickly the story concluded. “Didn’t you help that company create millions of value every month? Why didn’t they renew your contract?”
“Millions every month? That’s an exaggeration. Li Chen told you, didn’t he?” Ouyang Xue looked at me as if talking to a child.
“It’s not that terrifying, but the computer company’s performance wasn’t great before I joined. It was a relatively unknown small company. The signing company also didn’t think I could achieve much when they arranged for me to go there, so they didn’t expect me to make a big impact, and the price they offered was very low.”
“Then, I don’t know if it was because the virtual idol they hired looked good or what, but after a few months of broadcasting, the response was quite good. Many people who didn’t understand computers often came to the livestream to ask about the laptops on my end—how they were, whether they could be repaired or returned if there were issues. I patiently answered their questions. As the months went by, the fanbase of the company’s virtual spokesperson account kept growing. With the approaching June 18th and the end of the college entrance exams, many people were buying computers, and the sales in the store suddenly went up.”
“Oh, I see.” I put on a serious listening expression. “And then what happened?”
“Then, in October, that computer company held a celebration party. The leaders asked me, the ‘outsider,’ to speak on stage and even asked if I had any suggestions for the company’s future. I boldly suggested that we could launch a new product related to the second dimension during the 12.12 shopping festival [2], using this virtual spokesperson image. What I didn’t expect was that the company leaders adopted my suggestion and used the money earned in the past few months to invest directly in the second dimension user market. They ordered new molds for the notebooks, introduced new casing colors, and even launched a corresponding virtual spokesperson water-cooled chassis for the desktop computers…”
“At the product launch event, they specially arranged a holographic projection of the virtual idol, and I controlled it from behind. The viewership exploded on the day of the launch event. For the next few days, I promoted the notebook and online store in the virtual spokesperson’s livestream every day. As a result, starting from 12 December, our company’s notebook sales stayed in the second position on the popular list for over a hundred days on online shopping platforms.”
“People outside were spreading that I brought several million in monthly benefits to this computer company. Actually, it’s not that much. I just did what I needed to do.”
Ouyang Xue on the hospital bed smiled wryly. “I initially just wanted to be an idol. Even though it turned into being a spokesperson for a company, my role didn’t change much. I still showcase my talents on stage, bringing joy to the audience in front of the screen. Selling computers is just a side thing. I don’t think there’s anything to be proud of.”
“But Sister Ouyang did indeed revive that company.”
I sighed and said, “This is already quite remarkable.”
“Anyway, it’s definitely not as exaggerated as it’s rumored outside.”
Ouyang Xue smiled apologetically, and the look in her eyes towards me changed from the earlier ‘Why is this silly girl so curious’ to ‘I’ve revealed so many of my dark secrets, you should be satisfied now——’
“After that, the company that wanted to sign me saw that I had left, and the computer company they were dealing with made a lot of money. They got jealous and wanted to raise the price, claiming that if the other side didn’t agree to a commission increase, they wouldn’t let me continue working there. It turned into a big unpleasant dispute, and coincidentally, my contract was about to expire in a few months, so I didn’t renew it. I left the virtual idol business.’
I asked unconsciously, “So what about the virtual idol business that Sister Ouyang was running?”
“Someone else took over.”
Ouyang Xue couldn’t help but laugh, “Nuo’er, you really are like a child, so innocent. If it weren’t for my current situation, I might have eaten you up here just like that Yin Xiamo.”
“What are you talking about!”
Ouyang Xue had a mysterious look on her face. “Actually, this big sister, I really like little girls the most, especially innocent ones like Nuo’er…”
“Uh!” In a panic, I instinctively said, “I… I can’t be… that.”
“Understood, Nuo’er is probably disgusted by this 30-year-old lady,” Ouyang Xue teased.
“No, it’s not like that!”
Seeing that Ouyang Xue was not as disheartened as before during our casual conversation, I secretly breathed a sigh of relief in my heart. “Sister Ouyang is so beautiful, and her figure is great, I…”
As I spoke, the phone in the pocket of my dress started ringing.
“Sorry, I need to take a call.”
I took out my phone, unlocked the screen, glanced at the number on it, then turned and walked out of the hospital room. I closed the door and pressed the answer button in the corridor outside the room.
“Nuo’er!”
Li Chen’s voice came through the phone, this man seemed to be climbing stairs, breathing heavily. “Which room on the fifth floor?”
“You already know it’s on the fifth floor?”
I glanced at the door number behind me. “Room 511.”
“Okay, I’ll be there right away!”
As Li Chen spoke, I could already hear the muffled footsteps ahead. Then, in the pounding sound of running, Li Chen, who had just come out of the stairwell, quickly ran towards me.
The loud noise caught the attention of the nurses at the nurse station. A nurse leaned out, “Sir, please don’t make such loud footsteps.”
“Sorry, sorry.”
Li Chen apologized while slowing down his pace, breathing heavily as he walked up to me. He lowered his voice and asked, “Where’s Ouyang?”
I pointed to the adjacent hospital room. “Inside.”
“Awake?”
“Awake.”
Upon hearing this, Li Chen directly opened the door to the hospital room.
“Ouyang!”
As soon as he entered, this young man who appeared to be in his late twenties gritted his teeth and angrily said to Ouyang Xue in the bed, “Are you trying to get yourself killed?!”
“What’s your problem!”
Ouyang Xue also glared back discontentedly. “Why are you yelling so loudly!”
I silently walked in, giving an apologetic look to the young man in the adjacent bed who had been disturbed.
The young man across from us first looked puzzled as he glanced at Li Chen and Ouyang Xue. Then, his gaze fell on me, dressed in a maid outfit, and he nodded, indicating that he didn’t mind.
“How many times have I told you? If you catch a cold, don’t go to work, and make sure to eat on time! You’re working in a café, can’t you even eat on schedule?”
Li Chen sat down on a small chair beside Ouyang Xue’s hospital bed, looking frustrated. “The doctor told me you have a gastric bleeding. Do you know what that means? Huh?”
Ouyang Xue felt a bit guilty due to Li Chen’s scolding, but she still had a defiant attitude. “It’s none of your business…”
“If I don’t care, who else will care for you, huh?” Li Chen gritted his teeth.
“Even if you don’t care about yourself, at least think about me. You’re not taking care of yourself when you’re sick, end up in the hospital, and who has to handle that lousy café? It’s only me, right? Are you counting on… counting on someone like Nuo’er, the little sister?”
As he spoke, Li Chen gestured towards me behind him. “You got lucky this time, collapsing outside with Nuo’er and Xiamo right by your side. But what if you faint in the bathroom or some corner? Half an hour later, the cafe gets crowded, Nuo’er and the others are all busy, no one notices you. What do you plan to do? Who will save you? Who will notice you?”
To avoid being accidentally caught in Li Chen’s anger, I quickly turned away from the doorway and didn’t look in their direction.
“Also, how many times have I told you? In case of an emergency, if you feel dizzy or have a headache, just press the power button on your phone five times. That’s the emergency call I set up for you. Press it five times, and your phone will automatically dial my number. My phone is on 24 hours, did you do that?”
Huh?
Li Chen’s words reminded me of Ouyang Xue clutching her phone under the scorching sun just now. It seemed… she only let go of it after being lifted onto the ambulance by doctors and nurses and undergoing an examination.
“Who would count on you, you quirky! Clearly, you took it upon yourself to set up an emergency call for me. Whether I press it or not is my freedom!”
Facing Li Chen’s accusations, Ouyang Xue became even more defiant. “Do you have the right to control me? I have hands and feet to support myself. I am a modern independent woman, not someone you’re taking care of!”
“You…”
Li Chen’s face turned red, and he held back for a while. “So, if I were to become your support, I would have the right to control you, right?”
“……”
This remark left Ouyang Xue silent on the bed for a while.
“Wh… What… What did you say?”
“Your voices are too loud.” At this moment, the door to the hospital room was pushed open, and a small nurse walked in. “Please don’t disturb the patient’s rest!”
Li Chen quickly apologized, “Sorry, sorry, I was a bit emotional.”
“Nuo’er, take this person back. I don’t want to talk to him.”
Ouyang Xue on the bed turned her head, “I’m tired. I want to sleep.”
Li Chen talked back, “Ouyang, you…”
“Enough, enough…”
I quickly went over and took his arm. “Let’s go outside first. I’ll give you a brief overview of Sister Ouyang’s situation.”
“Tsk…”
Seemingly aware that he might lose his temper again if he stayed, Li Chen eventually walked out of the room with me.
“On the way here, I already asked the doctor and learned about her situation.”
On a bench in the corridor outside the hospital room, Li Chen took a deep breath. “She has had gastric ulcers all along. I just can’t believe she pushed herself to this extent, not even wanting to live.”
“Why is Sister Ouyang so persistent about the cafe?”
I asked tentatively, “Isn’t it said that after her work at the cafe ends, she’ll return to Tongmeng Net to continue logistics management?”
“After going back, she also gets a certain commission from the cafe’s revenue.”
Li Chen rubbed his head. “Ouyang is a very stubborn person. It’s just… because of some things that happened before, she is unwilling to let go of any opportunity to make money.”
“What specifically happened?”
I continued to ask, “Earlier, I talked to Sister Ouyang about her experience as a virtual idol, but she didn’t tell me the reason.”
“This is also related to Ouyang’s past experiences. She… when she was a child, her parents divorced, and she ended up with her father. But her father was quite irresponsible, addicted to gambling. When he lost, those debt collectors would come to Ouyang’s house to ask for money. If there was no money, they would resort to violence.”
As if narrating some ancient history, Li Chen’s voice became somewhat somber. “At that time, her father suggested picking up bottles from the trash cans in the town to sell for money. Every day after school, Ouyang would collect bottles. When the debt collectors came, she would give them a few coins, asking them not to harm her father. The debt collectors had a bit of humanity, seeing Ouyang, a little girl, they were hesitant to use force. Often, they would take a few coins for transportation expenses, threaten a bit, and then leave.”
“One day, Ouyang had a fever and rested at a neighbor’s house, not going out to collect bottles. When the debt collectors saw she wasn’t home, they thought they could act without inhibition. They became more ruthless, and since that day, Ouyang’s father had difficulty walking.”
“A few months later, her father, while drunk, fell into a ditch while riding his bike and passed away. Neighbors nearby said if it weren’t for his difficulty in walking, he wouldn’t have fallen into the ditch. Ouyang blamed herself, thinking that if she had gone out to collect bottles that day despite having a fever, her father wouldn’t have been beaten and wouldn’t have died.”
“Later, when Ouyang signed a contract as a virtual idol, she took in a stray cat that wandered into her rented room. She had it for almost a year. During that time, the trend of ‘companionship gaming’ was popular. Skilled male streamers would operate the computer, while attractive female streamers with good voices would chat with customers. This attracted many clients. Ouyang felt that not doing this was deceiving customers, so the company transferred her to another department with a lower salary. Every month, after buying her own food and paying rent, all the remaining money went to buying cat food.”
“Then one day… the cat got sick. It had a feline infectious peritonitis, a condition similar to a human terminal illness. The only potential cure was a very expensive medicine.”
Li Chen bit his lip. “At that time, I offered to pay for the medicine, but she refused, saying she would try to earn money through companionship gaming. However, their company’s companionship gaming department was already full, and Ouyang’s voice wasn’t the cute type, so she couldn’t get any orders. The cat’s illness had to be delayed, and it continued to drag on… Eventually, the cat passed away at the vet. At that time, Ouyang was still at the company, pleading with the leaders for orders. When the pet hospital called, she went to the restroom and cried for a long time alone.”
“Later on, a similar situation occurred in her hometown. Besides her parents, Ouyang had an uncle. At that time, her uncle was also ill and needed a lot of money for treatment. Ouyang had already been bought by a computer company, managing their virtual idols, which was quite popular. I don’t remember if it was during National Day or 11.11, but there was a big promotion. The company provided Ouyang with a lot of computer data, asking her to memorize it as thoroughly as possible, emphasizing that such a significant event couldn’t afford any mistakes.”
“At that time, Ouyang, being just a girl, didn’t understand much about computer knowledge. Her constitution made her prone to frequent colds, and she would get a fever with blurred vision after catching a cold. Many friends advised her that it was good enough, that customers wouldn’t ask such tricky questions. Ouyang didn’t bother memorizing the specifications of some niche computers. However, on the day of the event, a big client arrived. Since their company focused on the second dimension (2D), he wanted to test the knowledge of the ‘mascot character.’ If she could accurately state the parameters and detailed values of these computers on the spot, he would sign a contract. The deal was worth over 20 million at the time, and if successful, Ouyang could have earned several hundred thousand at least.”
“Then came this melodramatic twist…”
Li Chen sitting on the chair chuckled bitterly. “Ouyang was unprepared and couldn’t answer. The order was lost, no commission was earned, and when it came time to treat her uncle, she could only afford some cheap medicine. Several months later, her only relative also passed away. She blamed herself continuously for that month, thinking of it as her own fault. The month she signed with the idol company, they saw Ouyang gaining popularity and wanted higher commissions. However, the computer company, upset about losing a big contract because of Ouyang, disagreed. The dispute between the two sides was unpleasant, and when Ouyang’s contract expired, she didn’t continue as an idol. Instead, she applied for a logistics management job at Tongmeng Net.”
“Her perfectionism started around that time. No matter what she does, she must do it perfectly. Even if she’s tired, sick, or hungry, she insists on completing all tasks first. She’s particularly afraid of situations like that, feeling that if she doesn’t seize some opportunities, she’ll regret it for the rest of her life.”
After saying so much, Li Chen looked at me. “So when Ouyang is occasionally strict with you guys, don’t take it to heart.”
“She is just… too insecure.”
“……”
……
?????????? is a Chinese phrase that means “Longing needs time to heal slowly.” It is a line from the song “??” (Yuxiang) by Chinese singer-songwriter Zhang Xiaojiu. The song is about a man who is still in love with a woman who has moved on with her life. He is struggling to let go of his feelings for her, but he knows that it will take time.
Here is the song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1HVoByAciE
You Asians should know this, it’s like Taobao or Shopee 12.12. In other countries, it’s like “Black Friday.”