I Will Never Submit to Miss Grim Reaper - Chapter 164

Chapter 164: The Catnip of Charlemagne’s Twelve Paladins

 

Opening the small door to the balcony and putting on the slippers here, I walked out. I picked up the clothes hanger next to me and took down the clothes that Yin Xiamo had washed for me in the past two days.

 

Since I moved into this room, it seems that the task of washing clothes has always been taken care of by Miss Grim Reaper. After these days of “getting used to each other,” Yin Xiamo and I have gradually settled into our nightly “routine.” Usually around eight o’clock in the evening, Ai Luodi would go to the café, and then we would change clothes and go home. When we got home, I would prepare to take a shower. At this time, Yin Xiamo would take my clothes and underwear, along with hers, and put them in the washing machine for a quick wash before hand washing them.

 

Girls take more time in the shower, especially girls like me with long hair. Washing hair, conditioning, blow-drying, and then skincare, unconsciously, an hour would pass. The apartment has a washing machine, but I usually use it for washing more complicated jackets, and I still hand wash underwear.

 

Coming here, I have to say that Yin Xiamo has indeed been a great help. If she didn’t help with the laundry while I was in the shower, my clothes wouldn’t be dry by the time I finished, and I would have to spend a lot of time on it.

 

Normally, getting home by eight or nine o’clock is already very late. Taking an hour for a shower, it would be ten o’clock. If I had to wash clothes after coming out of the bathroom, it would be around eleven o’clock unconsciously, and after finishing the laundry, it would be time for bed. With Yin Xiamo helping with the laundry, I can have much more time to write.

 

I have always treated novels as my own children. I rarely write when I’m in a particularly bad condition, such as being sick, having a high fever, or feeling extremely tired, unless absolutely necessary.

 

After a busy day, taking a comfortable shower at night and writing after a full-body skincare routine in my small room gives me a burst of confidence. I would write for about an hour and a half until around eleven-thirty, and then, feeling sleepy, I would go to bed.

 

By the way, should I consider buying more underwear?

 

In the bright morning sunlight, after bringing in the dried clothes, I looked at the balcony full of green plants, the large vegetable garden below, and the nearby Starlight Elementary School playing the familiar “School Assembly Tune.” My thoughts drifted for a moment.

 

Home, school, life.

 

If I were a child from an ordinary family in this neighborhood, I should be like those kids inside. Early in the morning, I would be groggily woken up by my parents, hurriedly eat breakfast, then hop into my parents’ car and arrive at the school gate with a buzz of excitement.

 

Following my little friends, we would enter the classroom, which, though annoying, offered a variety of fresh experiences every day. Together with all the latecomers, we would discuss the glorious achievements in yesterday’s game and share the latest exciting cartoons. Unfortunately, I didn’t have such a childhood.

 

I walked back from the balcony with my clothes in my arms.

 

Normally, this small balcony should also be taken care of by Yin Xiamo. I don’t know where she finds so much time, but to be honest, she manages it quite well, like a small garden.

 

There are many outdoor plants on the balcony, including grapes, small oranges, and some vines with flowers that I can’t name but climb the walls. It’s all lush and green, and every time I open the door, I can smell a faint fragrance of flowers and the subtle aroma of green plants.

 

When I returned to the room, I silently put the clothes I brought back into the wardrobe, thinking to myself.

 

Now, if you really want to say it, Yin Xiamo and I, in a sense, “aren’t lacking money.”

 

According to Yin Xiamo, both she and I possess almost endless lifespans. Infinite life implies infinite wealth, and if we were to get “reckless,” we could do anything.

 

Seriously speaking, the mere existence of Yin Xiamo and me is already “priceless.” One is a demon from another world who replaces the “death” in the laws of the universe, and the other is a reincarnated hero from another world who will never die. Cosmology, physics, biology… everything is in chaos. Not to mention rigorous science, even theology loses completely in the face of “magic.”

 

On a smaller scale, if I really had that inclination, as mentioned before with Yin Xiamo, I could become an idol, take the path of an internet celebrity, and easily charge tens or hundreds of thousands for appearances, without resorting to occupations like being a maid, which is considered at the bottom of the societal hierarchy by most people. But in that case… I can’t help but feel it would have a huge impact on my worldview.

 

It’s similar to Yin Xiamo’s sudden declaration at the beach: “I can go against the whole world for you.” In reality, with her strength, she could easily “rule” this “backward” world of Earth and has no need to work as a store clerk in a convenience store for all these years. However, for the sake of the “kindness” bestowed upon her by the hero from her past life, she has silently lived as an ordinary person on Earth.

 

“……”

 

In the small room, I turned my head to glance at the small bed behind me. The charming air conditioner on the small bed had been neatly folded and placed at the foot of the bed. The two little demon figures on the bedsheet were hugging each other as usual, creating a very cozy scene.

 

Without the bulky and space-consuming mosquito net, the room seemed much more spacious. With a few small demon-themed canvases, it looked like a “girls’ boudoir,” very warm. The original design of this bed should be a single bed, quite small. However, since I am naturally small in stature, and Yin Xiamo is also a girl, we don’t feel crowded when sleeping together.

 

What to wear? Folding the clothes, I looked at the wardrobe in front of me and entered a brief moment of contemplation.

 

If it were half a month ago, right after I transformed into a girl, I would undoubtedly choose a non-skirt style without hesitation. It would be the T-shirt and shorts set I bought the first time I went to the supermarket. But now… to be honest, I’m really hesitant.

 

Somehow, even though with my current body condition, wearing a slightly tomboyish T-shirt and denim shorts with a small hat or simply letting my hair hang loose looks beautiful, I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I got used to wearing skirts during the time I worked at the café, or perhaps it’s because I’ve been wearing nightgowns to sleep every night recently. Whenever I see shorts in the wardrobe, I have a subconscious thought that “if it were a skirt, it would probably be more comfortable.”

 

On such a hot day, it’s probably better to wear a skirt, right? Skirts are cooler, less likely to make you sweat, and compared to shorts, they’re a bit cuter. They also provide better ventilation when walking… or something like that. In the end, I chose the set of sky-blue artist-themed hoodie and a small skirt, putting on a pair of women’s ankle socks.

 

It’s not that I particularly like skirts, it’s simply because the weather is too hot. Yes, that’s it. After changing into my clothes, I circled around the living room and Yin Xiamo’s room, gathered the garbage, put it in a trash bag, put on the round-toe casual shoes at the door, and headed out.

 

After throwing away the garbage downstairs, I went to the breakfast shop across the street and had a bowl of noodle soup with an added egg and soy milk. Today is Tuesday, and the outside world doesn’t differ much from the weekdays of the previous week.

 

People who need to work ride electric scooters or bicycles, weaving through the roads filled with blooming almond tree flowers. Elderly people not working either sit under the trees on small chairs to enjoy the cool breeze or gather to play poker, mahjong, or chess. The vast streets give a sense of leisure and contentment.

 

Having finished breakfast, I took a small stroll around the neighborhood and then jogged a bit. Feeling that my body had relaxed enough, I returned home, went to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water, and sat down in front of the computer.

 

“I hope this new book, recognized by the Tuzi, won’t flop.”

 

With my hands clasped in front of the computer screen, I pulled the keyboard from under the table and placed it on the desktop. After half a month of practice, I can now keep up with my writing speed during my uncle days using my current body and hands.

 

In a situation of extreme lack of inspiration, I can write around 1,500 words in an hour. When the ideas flow abundantly, it’s around 3,000 words per hour. On average, it’s about 2,000 words per hour, which is considered below average among authors.

 

To be honest, if I were to write full-time at this speed, I would definitely starve to death. Regardless of how well you write, you would starve to death. The mainstream of society has changed drastically over the past decade. In those days, people actively searched for novels, and there were only a few books circulating online. If you were a selective reader, such as only reading harem or overpowered protagonist stories, or if you directly searched for “transformation” on a novel website to bookmark, there probably weren’t many books to read during that era.

 

Therefore, authors from that era typically updated with a few thousand words daily or a chapter every two or three days. Some even updated weekly or monthly, and they could still earn a considerable amount of money. Nowadays, authors not only need to produce content but also have their books actively attract readers rather than relying on readers to find them. Additionally, the storyline must be innovative, starting with an immediate climax to draw readers in; otherwise, it’s a dead end.

 

In front of the computer, I routinely opened the Honeydew Novel website and found the “Daily Update Rankings.”

 

It’s now a little after nine in the morning, and the Honeydew Novel’s update rankings refresh every half an hour. The person currently in the first place has already written 26,000 words, and I estimate they probably didn’t sleep all night.

 

I casually clicked on this person’s profile and entered their personal space, finding the book they are currently updating. I took a look at the beginning and a few chapters.

 

It’s a very ordinary mainstream novel with a theme of revenge and martial arts. The story starts with the protagonist’s family being destroyed, and the immortal who killed his entire family surprisingly didn’t finish off the protagonist. After surviving, the protagonist coincidentally obtains a system, and his cultivation speed soars. He begins a crazy retaliation against his enemies and their family.

 

These types of novels are generally aimed at readers who are relatively young or have more leisure time in their lives and work. Readers like these typically don’t demand the author to have exceptional writing skills, don’t care about which author wrote the book, and aren’t concerned about the logic of the story or the “system’s” rationality—just as long as it’s entertaining. After reading, they still have work or school to attend to.

 

For authors, these novels are the best for “mass production.” Because there’s a “system” in place, the logic of the story can be ignored. Even when outlining or planning the plot, there’s no need to consider cause and effect. A simple sentence like “the system said” can smoothly cover everything.

 

?You killed my entire family? I awakened a system, and the system assigned me tasks. I’ll cultivate to perfection and then come to wipe out your entire clan.?

?Want to get Bone Cleansing Paste? Go to the neighboring village and bring back that celestial beauty as your sister. Don’t ask why, it’s a task from the system.?

?Want a good martial art technique? Go to the academy and act as a lackey for the mature lady dean. This is a system task.?

?You’re invincible, so why pretend to be an ordinary person and play the fool? It’s all part of the system’s task.?

 

Moreover, because of the system, even if you kill your enemies and take revenge, you can continue to arrange a bunch of follow-up tasks. For example, the enemy you killed turns out to be just his clone, and his main body is still alive. The system detects that his main body is in the immortal realm.

 

Then it opens the map of the immortal realm, and you become an ordinary little pawn in the immortal realm. The system continues to issue orders for seeking immortal treasures, and the protagonist still has to follow the route planned by the system or the author to complete tasks.

 

For authors, this type of traditional mainstream system novel has the advantage that they can write continuously. The plot and character setups are ready-made, allowing for mass production and a soaring word count. Others update with 2,000 words a day, but I update ten times a day with 2,000 words each—roll you over.

 

In addition, many novels can form an industrial chain similar to a “studio.” I invest in a studio, act as the boss, and then hire a few somewhat capable writers to write the beginning. If the beginning of the novel is acceptable and gets signed by an editor, then the writer continues. When it feels about right, upper-level managers begin to arrange for “ghostwriting.” It could be someone from my own studio or outsourcing, typically outsourcing. For example, if updating a chapter of 2,000 words normally earns 40 yuan, I put out a reward outside like ‘Novel Ghostwriting, 2,000 words for 10 yuan, 5 yuan per thousand words.’ I let ghostwriters handle it, and the studio just waits to collect the money every day.”

 

Novels like these, some people may easily recognize them as “ghostwritten,” but that’s okay as long as there are still people willing to pay. If there are no subscriptions or low income, then it’s a clean break, and on to the next book.

 

If a writer’s novel has a poor start, low bookmarks, and nobody reads it, then the entire author account is scrapped. They open a new author account and write a new book, repeating the process until a new book gets signed or the data is exceptionally good.

 

Anyway, there are plenty of email addresses; registering a new author account is not difficult.

 

This kind of operation is somewhat similar to game studios, where one author manages several author accounts, and everything is ghostwritten.

 

Back when Yae-Do was still around, people like Pipi and Marisa were always talking about this issue. They felt like ordinary authors fighting against these studios on the website every day was akin to facing a hundred thousand armies alone; only the skilled could survive.

 

Nowadays, when I write novels, I have a similar feeling. In order to write a good novel, I “scan the charts” every day, observing how the top-ranking authors begin their stories, choose names, write summaries, and progress with their plots. I also check the daily update rankings to see the monstrous update rates of those tentacle-like entities. I always have this frustrating feeling that “no matter how hard I try, it’s challenging to catch up with them.”

 

The closure of Yae-Do Novel website and the migration of studios to larger platforms may be considered a good thing for Yae-Do. Now that Honeydew and Yae-Do have merged, experienced editors from both websites are reportedly discussing ways to combat studios and ghostwriting.

 

However, considering that my main job is a cafe waiter, it doesn’t seem necessary for my novels to make a “sensational debut.” Writing two to three thousand words a day for about an hour, during free time, such as weekends like today, I can write a few more chapters as drafts. Accumulating popularity and improving writing skills gradually will attract loyal readers… probably.

 

?Uncle, do you have time now??

 

After writing for about forty to fifty minutes in front of the computer, just as I had finished a relatively complete plot and was planning to relax my eyes by looking out the window, and to unwind a bit, I opened QQ. I saw several messages from my editor Catnip.

 

?Have you heard about the author conference that Honeydew is going to hold on May 20th??

 

The message was sent a little over an hour ago. At that time, I had probably just finished breakfast. I likely didn’t open QQ to avoid seeing strange things that could ruin my mood, considering I would be writing soon.

 

?Heard about it.?

Realizing something, I replied to the new editor: ?Tuzi mentioned it to me. Is it a high-end offline author exchange initiated by the website??

I hesitated in front of the computer and added: ?Is there any training involved??

 

?It’s not exactly training. Is it convenient for you? Or should we have a video chat directly??

 

Huh?

Video chat?

 

I subconsciously glanced at the “boudoir” I shared with Yin Xiamo: ?I… My computer is not very convenient.?

 

It’s not accurate to say it’s inconvenient, but at least it doesn’t have a webcam. This computer is quite old, and when I bought it, I was one of those naive buyers who thought, “The bigger the graphics card memory, the better. CPUs with i7 are definitely better than i5.”

 

I got ripped off by the computer shop pretty badly. Now, with software becoming more and more resource-intensive, this outdated computer can only handle playing some small games while running QQ, launching large games is particularly laggy.

 

However, after all, no matter how old and outdated this computer is, it’s sufficient for the daily work of an “author.” After all, it wouldn’t make sense if a computer couldn’t even handle writing software and input methods. That would be truly useless.

 

?It’s okay. You can use your phone, and whether you turn on the camera on your end or not is fine. I have mine on.?

Editor Catnip quickly replied: ?Tuzi told me to take care of you more. You’re the only lucky one in our group, and we have another meeting later. Explaining this exchange will take some time, so I’ll just talk to you directly.?

 

?Do you have a microphone there??

 

Uh… is this editor planning to video chat with me? This seems to be a first in my career as an author.

 

Without mentioning Ai Luodi, who completely left me to my own devices, Tuzi, the editor I just got to know for not even half a month, resigned. Now, this Editor Catnip comes in and requests a video chat…

 

?Or if you’re really shy, I can type with you here. However, it might be a bit complicated to explain, and it will take some time.?

 

Perhaps noticing that I hadn’t responded for a few seconds, the other side sent another message: ?Tuzi and Ai Luodi said you’re an experienced author. You don’t need to be so formal. So, I plan to have a direct video conversation with you. That’s the situation.?

 

Oh, I see.

 

No wonder. I thought I, a laid-back author, surprisingly had such great charm that a new editor was willing to open a video chat for “gentle guidance.”

 

?Hold on, let me change locations.?

I stood up from my seat, grabbed my phone, and headed to the living room, then stepped out onto the balcony: ?Okay, I’m ready.?

 

Ai Luodi is still sleeping, so I better not disturb her.

 

?Catnip, an editor from Honeydew, has sent you a video call request.?

?Accept?

 

I pulled out a small stool from the corner of the balcony, sat under the grapevine tended by Yin Xiamo, accepted Catnip’s video call, and then turned off my own camera.

 

“Cough, well… can you hear me?”

 

Soon, my phone rang with a somewhat crisp but not very gender-specific voice: “You… your pen name is ‘Uncle Loves Loli,’ and you use the real name Yin Nuo’er for the contracted novels, right?”

 

Through the phone screen, I saw “Catnip” on the other side with slightly long hair, delicate features, currently sitting in a chair in a bright office, speaking into the phone.

 

At a glance, I saw the Shark Jerky and Planet Cups in the snack shelf behind Catnip, as well as many, many Crunchy Corners. Without surprises, the other side of the camera should be the merged “Honeydew” editorial office.

 

“Ah… that’s right.”

 

After a brief moment of confusion, I spoke into the microphone of the phone, “Editor, what’s the matter?”

 

“Catnip” on the other side of the phone was wearing a slightly delicate hooded long-sleeved jacket. The jacket was unbuttoned, revealing a checkered striped vest inside. I didn’t see any obvious bulges on the chest of the vest, but at the same time, I also didn’t see any prominent Adam’s apple in this editor’s throat.

 

Staring at the screen for several seconds, I ultimately surrendered.

 

No, I really can’t tell if it’s a man or a woman.

 

Now that I’m a girl, I’m aware that if a girl wears a very flat vest or T-shirt, even if there is no chest, the curve under the neck is distinctly different from that of a male. “Flat-chested Lolitas” like me can still vaguely see the curvature of the chest when wearing pajamas. If Catmint is a girl, it’s impossible for her to be so flat.

 

But if “they” were a man, the Adam’s apple would not be very obvious, and their face would still be that kind of very delicate type. Their hair could be explained by either the Waver Velvet who summoned the Conqueror King in “Fate Zero” or the protagonist in “Lord El-Melloi II’s Case Files: Rail Zeppelin Grace Note“, but there are also many girls who would keep such a hairstyle because they find it troublesome.

 

What surprised me the most was Catnip’s voice, which gave me the impression of “Astolfo.”

 

In the setting, Astolfo is one of the Twelve Paladins of Charlemagne, but when summoned in the “Fate” series, he looks perfectly natural in women’s clothing and has a voice that could pass as either male or female.

 

No, I really can’t figure out the gender. I give up.

 

“It’s about the Lucky Author.”

 

Under my gaze, the editor on the other end of the phone got straight to the point. “We hope you can be the Lucky Author and participate in this event.”

 

Lucky Author Conference? Joining those high-end authors?

 

“Is it for some kind of promotion at that time?”

 

Thinking about the incident with Starlight Elementary School, I decided to clarify the question in advance. “Will there be photos or anything posted on the website at that time?”

 

“No, no, this is purely technical exchange. On May 20th, there’s a literature and art exchange exhibition in Shenzhen City. Have you heard about it?”

 

“No.”

 

I truthfully replied, “I’ve been too busy lately, haven’t paid attention to these things.”

 

“It’s okay if you haven’t. In simple terms, it’s a gathering of various websites and novel authors. You can think of it as a book fair, similar to a comic con. But while comic cons focus on exchanging within the realm of anime and manga, this event is for exchanging books and artwork. Many people will come to sell books and illustrated booklets.”

 

“At that time, both Honeydew and Yae-Do Hall will have booths. After the selected authors arrive, everyone will gather, have a meal, and discuss the future plans for the website and novels. It’s a kind of internal confidential meeting, so there’s no need to worry about the content leaking out.”

 

Internal confidential meeting?

 

“I still don’t quite understand.”

 

I asked tentatively, “What exactly is it? Why was I chosen?”

 

“Specifically, it includes our editors, website operations, and authors who are well-known within the website or those who hope to develop here in the future. We all gather for a meal and then discuss the direction of Honeydew and Yae-Do Hall after the merger.”

 

Catnip, with a voice similar to Astolfo’s, said, “You also know that the two websites have just merged. Some editors have resigned, some artists have left, and some operations staff have gone back to their hometowns to get married. Additionally, the operational policies of the Honeydew and Yae-Do websites are not exactly the same. For example, when it comes to meeting the monthly word count requirement, at Honeydew, it’s 90,000 words after the content is uploaded. On the other hand, at Yae-Do, it’s 4000 words or more per day after signing the contract. However, authors on Yae-Do have various ways to take leave, and it’s a bit challenging for us to separately calculate the word count and arrange the editors for both websites.”

 

“Honeydew resets its daily update time at midnight, while Yae-Do Hall does it every day at 6 a.m… Anyway, there are many rules that are different.”

 

“When everyone gathers, some authors have strong abilities and are often on the bestseller list. They undoubtedly have unique insights into the website’s reader community composition and full attendance planning. Now that the two websites have merged, to grow and expand, we need to unite all possible forces. The number of authors’ full attendance, the benefits readers receive when subscribing, and how to make both authors and readers happy during events are the core topics of discussion at this offline author conference.”

 

“As for why the lucky author from our side chose you, it’s mainly because almost everyone in the editorial department here is familiar with you, this little celebrity. Ai Luodi told me before she left that even if you’re busy, you’ll continue to update. Isn’t that right? That shows an intention to become a member of our big family. So, we hope you can attend this event.”

 

“If you’re willing to come, the editorial department will send you an invitation letter today. May 20th, next Monday, just bring the invitation letter when you come.”

 

At this point, Catnip on the phone suddenly smirked,

 

“Oh, by the way, your novel has reached forty thousand words, right? Try to make a little effort these days and see if you can do double updates. Write at least 4,000 words a day. If your novel surpasses sixty thousand words in a week, I’ll arrange the first recommendation for you.”

 

“This recommendation was left by Tuzi before she left. She said she would supervise your updates and completely eliminate the bad behavior of being absent from the recommendation slot. So, I won’t test the waters with a trial recommendation, I’ll give you a big cover recommendation directly. You handle it, okay?”

 

“……”

 

……