I Will Never Submit to Miss Grim Reaper - Chapter 24

In the distance, there was a man who looked lost, as if the world were going to end today.

“No… no, bro, this can’t be real.” Marisa’s Iron Butt, who had always been considered ‘socially confident’ by everyone, to back away in fear, taking several steps back.

He continued to retreat until he was beside a bench under a large banyan tree. His shin bumped into the chair’s armrest before he snapped back to reality, looking at me with a frightened expression.

“Pipi, give me a slap, tell me this is reality, not fiction.”

“I don’t know either! I’m pretty confused myself right now.”

Although he said that, Pipi still gave ‘Marisa’s Iron Butt’ a smack on the rear.

“Smack!”

“Damn! Did you really hit me?”

Marisa winced in pain, instinctively clutching his buttocks, gritting his teeth. “Ouch… why do you look so scrawny but pack such a punch?”

“You little brat, didn’t you ask me to hit you?”

In front of Marisa, even Pipi, who looked like a civilized man with glasses, revealed his true self. He crossed his arms, wearing a disdainful expression as he looked at Marisa. “Aren’t you the one who claims to chat with anyone? Uncle has been our friend for so many years, and now that he’s here, you’ve gone silent?”

“Bro, can it be the same thing?”

Marisa looked as if he was wearing a mask of torment, much like a drama actor. “If Uncle himself had come, sure, we could have chatted as good friends. Even if a little girl came instead of Uncle, we could still manage a conversation. Not to mention the 2000s generation, I could chat with someone from the 2010s too. But this… this…”

Pointing at me in front of him, Marisa had a mournful look on his face. “But, Uncle… I mean this little angel is different!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at this guy and covered my mouth. “What ‘Uncle’ and ‘little angel’?”

“It’s not ‘Uncle,’ it’s… this is a real little girl.”

Marisa seemed to be dumbfounded for a few seconds because of my smile, and he finally managed to regain his composure. “Uncle… no, little sister, can you tell me your name? It’s not really appropriate to keep calling you ‘Uncle,’ is it?”

“My name?”

Seeing that there was no way to avoid this, I quickly gestured to my hand covering my mouth and tried to think of a name.

What should I call myself?

Maybe I should use a ready-made one. What was the name of the female protagonist in my last book…

“Yin Nuo’er.”

“Huh?”

“It’s the name of the female lead in one of my novels, Yin Nuo’er.”

When I was still ‘Uncle,’ I had the same surname, Yin, as the orphanage director, so without hesitation, I used that surname for the female protagonist in my book.

However, I never expected that this name would end up being used for myself. It feels like… some kind of reincarnation?

But whatever… it’s just a name, like “Uncle loves Loli.” Names, pen names, gaming names… a bunch of names. No matter which name I use, I’m still me, right?

“Huh? Wasn’t the female lead in your book named Yinoer?”

“What Yinoer?”

Pipi, who was next to us, couldn’t stand it any longer. “You, a cultured person, and you can’t even pronounce it right. It’s Y?n, like in ‘drink,’ the third tone.”

“I’m not a cultured person. I dropped out of middle school and started working.”

Marisa shot back without hesitation, “When I read it, I thought it was a female lead like Illyasviel, both having ‘Yi’ in their surnames.”

“Come on…”

Pipi became even more irritable. “Illyasviel is a transliteration, okay? Illyasviel’s surnames is ‘Einzbern’.”

“Close enough, close enough. Haha, I’m not very knowledgeable about the world of anime.”

“You, you…”

Pipi directly grabbed Marisa by the chest and pointed at the magical girl pattern on his t-shirt. “You don’t understand the world of anime, do you?”

Just like their voices, these two jokers were just as lively in real life.

Under the warm sunlight, I glanced at “Jituto” a person next to me and saw that this tall and broad guy was watching Marisa and Pipi with great interest.

Well… theoretically, I seemed to be quite safe, right?

Marisa, the 32-year-old ultimate otaku bachelor, and Pipi, a married man with a daughter, and Jituto was rumored to be into men…

“Come on, bro, I’m sorry. Don’t make a scene here. There are ladies around.”

After some playful wrestling, Marisa, the chubby one, was the first to surrender. He signaled with his eyes towards me, who was standing nearby. “To be honest, I’m still not entirely convinced that she’s ‘Uncle.’ I need to confirm… cough cough.”

Then, Marisa walked over to me.

“Um, so…”

He stopped a few steps away from me, less than a meter in front of me, and the chubby guy put his phone away. “Yin… Yin Nuo’er, can I just call you by your name? It’s too strange to keep calling you ‘Uncle’ all the time.”

I nodded, “Sure.”

“You see, it’s not that we don’t trust you, bro, it’s just that this… it’s too unbelievable. A good friend we’ve been playing with for years suddenly turned into a little girl, especially this friend… we used to chat with him about all sorts of adult jokes and movies… cough cough, right?”

Marisa glanced back at Pipi.

“That’s right.”

Pipi put on a “it’s up to you” expression, “I remember you used to send ‘Uncle’ a lot of resources, you had at least 500GB if not 1TB of them, real-life animations, and all. Luo Xiang once said that spreading that kind of stuff to minors can get you into trouble, especially if the content is particularly severe.”

“Can’t believe you’re saying this, dammit!”

Marisa was getting anxious, “I didn’t know back then, did I? Luo Xiang also said that lack of awareness could lead to lighter sentences or no charges!”

“Well, I’m not sure about that, but now it’s just the brothers here, so if we don’t say anything, it should be fine. But if we spill the beans…”

Pipi walked over to Jituto, put his arm around the tall guy’s shoulder in a suggestive manner, “Right, Jituto, for the sake of our great friendship, wouldn’t it be fair for Marisa to treat us to a meal today?”

“That is unfair.”

Jituto cooperated and said, “Today, Marisa should pay for the meal.”

“Damn, you two are ruthless.”

Giving the two of them a glance, Marisa refocused his gaze on me. “Nuo’er, let’s forget about them. I… I’ll just be straightforward. You say you’re ‘Uncle,’ but I don’t believe it anyway. Can you answer a few questions for me?”

“Sure.”

I playfully blinked my eyes and spoke with a clear, girlish tone, “A box of Crispy Sharks!”

“Huh?”

Marisa momentarily didn’t understand what I meant, “What Crispy Sharks?”

“I’m talking about the crispy snacks, white chocolate-flavored. A box has around thirty, I think. There’s a supermarket over there.”

I pointed with my little finger to the pedestrian street behind Marisa, “I’ll answer your questions, but as part of the deal, I’d like to go there after the event ends, and you can pay for a box of Crispy Sharks for me.”

The three individuals in front of me had quite the history. Marisa’s Iron Butt had held the top spot in urban novels’ earnings for nearly half a year, Divine Pet Pipi had once ranked third in site-wide earnings, and Jituto had consistently been the top figure in the fan fiction community.

Before Yae-Do Light Novel went bankrupt, the top-earning authors would make a minimum of 500,000 yuan per month in royalties. During peak reading seasons like winter and summer vacations, some top-tier authors could even earn one million yuan per month. While Marisa, Pipi, and Jituto were top-tier writers, making two to three hundred thousand yuan per month was definitely not a problem for them.

Asking them to chip in for a 30 yuan box of Crispy Sharks didn’t even make my conscience twitch.

Crispy Sharks are similar to “Snickers,” and both are high-energy snacks that are perfect for when you’re feeling tired or in need of a pick-me-up after a workout.

Through my exploration yesterday afternoon and this morning, I realized that my body was likely created by the Miss Death Reaper, unused and unenhanced. I didn’t have much muscle strength, and my body felt weak, like a patient who had been lying in bed for years and suddenly got up to move. Normally, people don’t feel much when their feet touch the ground while walking, but the first time I jumped off the computer chair, my whole body tingled. It showed how fragile this body was.

For the sake of my future health, I would definitely need a lot of time to exercise and condition my body, just like the exercises I did last night and this morning.

With that in mind, energy replenishment became crucial.

Of course, the reason I chose Crispy Sharks was because… I still couldn’t get over the fact that I missed out on those last two pieces of Crispy Sharks.

They had expired.

Expired, ahhh! I, a poor person, let food go to waste like that. It’s truly unforgivable!

So, I decided to make Marisa foot the bill once and help me buy a whole box of Crispy Sharks to bring back.

“Damn, you ask a few questions, and you start demanding things. You’ve got that ‘Uncle’ vibe now. Every time Uncle plays a game with me, he asks for gun attachments with this tone… ‘Give me a big scope! Give me two first aid kits!'”

Marisa, understanding what I meant, had the look of “I give in.”

“Alright, a box of Crispy Sharks. Now, I’ll ask you some questions that only Uncle would know!”