I woke up to find I have a child - Chapter 84
Han Feixu sighed, “You’re too suspicious.”
Shen Sangluo looked at her silently, “Fine, if you don’t want to tell me, then keep it to yourself for the rest of your life. I’m going to sleep.”
After saying that, she stood up to leave, but Han Feixu quickly grabbed her, “Wait, wait, wait…”
With one of them sitting and the other standing, Shen Sangluo got to experience the rare moment of looking down at her taller friend. Han Feixu, after hesitating for a long time, finally said, “There is something I wanted to ask you…”
Shen Sangluo scoffed lightly and sat back down, hugging a pillow in her arms as she relaxed and looked at her, “Speak then, what is it?”
Han Feixu was silent as she kicked off her slippers and then crossed her legs and curled up on the sofa. Han Feixu usually sat cross-legged as she felt the position comfortable, but now she looked a little restrained and anxious, as if she was going to share some bad news.
Han Feixu leaned over, her gaze shifting to the side as she thought about how to phrase her question. Shen Sangluo became nervous and her eyes widened, her eyebrows raised high in anticipation as she waited for Han Feixu’s explosive next words.
Han Feixu: “This… how about you bring out the family-sized potato chips you’ve hidden in the kitchen, and we can eat while we talk?”
Shen Sangluo: “…”
“What family-sized potato chips! I don’t have such things hidden!” Shen Sangluo denied quickly, even tapping her thigh as she spoke agitatedly.
Han Feixu stared at her, “Stop tapping, you still think you can hide things with that habit of yours? And it was Jiang Lingyan who told me that if we get hungry, we should look in the second cabinet on the right side of the kitchen. She said you hid a bunch of junk food behind the exhaust pipe of the range hood.”
For the first time in forever, Shen Sangluo wasn’t always eating junk food. Shen Sangluo didn’t think much about it at first, but as time went on, the more she wanted to eat her junk food and soon she was craving for them. It was as if she was addicted to drugs = =
Jiang Lingyan is strict about her dietary choices, always managing to come up with a multitude of sound arguments as to why they were unhealthy for her. Thus, Shen Sangluo had no choice but to secretly buy some snacks and hide them behind the exhaust pipe, and then sneaking a pack or two whenever Jiang Lingyan was not around.
She never expected that Jiang Lingyan already knew all about it.
Silently, Shen Sangluo walked over and tiptoed over to her stash before pulling out several bags. Without any hesitation, Han Feixu grabbed and opened them. Shen Sangluo looked at her suspiciously, “Are you allowed to eat these? It’s past ten now and don’t actors like you refrain from even drinking water after seven in the evening?”
“That’s them, not me. I don’t follow such rules. Besides, eating once in a while is okay.”
Watching Han Feixu enjoy the snacks so much, Shen Sangluo also took a couple of chips. She was more preoccupied about another matter than some simple chips, “I’ve taken out my private stash of chips for you, so what exactly did you want to ask me?”
After the crunching sounds subsided, it took two seconds for Han Feixu to swallow her food, “I just wanted to ask if you know why I wanted to divorce Ye Mingxin before I lost my memories.”
Shen Sangluo furrowed her brows, “You’ve already asked me this, and I’ve told you that I don’t really know. I’ve also discussed with you all the possible reasons I could think of, like Ye Mingxin not treating you well and those rumors about her affairs.”
Han Feixu shook her head, “No, I’m not asking about that. I already know those reasons. This time, I want to know if there were reasons from my side for wanting the divorce.”
Shen Sangluo was taken aback for a few seconds, “What do you mean?”
Han Feixu pursed her lips, “As the saying goes, it takes two to tango. Things were strained to the point of divorce, but was it only Ye Mingxin who was in the wrong? Were all the mistakes solely on her? Did I not do anything wrong?”
Shen Sangluo slowly widened her eyes and then sat up angrily after a moment, “Did Ye Mingxin tell you that you did something wrong?! I told you she was a bad person. She was a bad person when you were dating her and she was bad when you got married, and she is still a bad person even now! Is she trying to shirk responsibility? Is she deliberately making you feel as if you were the one who did something wrong? What poisonous intentions she has! No, you must not be brainwashed by her Han Feixu! You have to hold on! You can’t be fooled by her!”
Han Feixu: “….”
She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, “Why are you so biased against Ye Mingxin? What did she do to you to wrong you so much?”
“She hurt you and made you sad, that’s how she wronged me!” Shen Sangluo yelled forcefully, “I only have one best friend and that’s you. We’ve known each other for twenty years and everything was fine, you had no thoughts in your head and lived everyday happily and radiantly and was bright as sunshine. Sure you had a lot of minor flaws and problems, but there were no major flaws. You were overconfident to the max, but…”
Han Feixu looked at her blankly, “Can we please skip to the end, thank you very much.”
“Then look at what you became after you met her! You would stay home all the time, all quiet and meek and I couldn’t even see the shadow of who you were before.”
Han Feixu stayed silent and then said, “You can’t blame that all on her, after all, my family went through a big turmoil.”
Shen Sangluo sneered coldly, “Don’t be ridiculous. Yes, I’ll admit that the death of your mother and father dealt a great blow to you, but it didn’t change you significantly. You were 19 at the time, and even if your psychological endurance was bad at that time, it was still better than it is now. Now that your memory has been stuck at 16 for half a year, has your personality changed that much after learning about your parents’ death?”
Han Feixu looked at her dumbfoundedly. She had never thought of this point. She lowered her head and frowned for a moment, then raised her head again. “Shen Sangluo, I know that Ye Mingxin has done some bad things and I know that she has made many mistakes. But I’m here today to ask you what I did wrong. Please look at this issue rationally, okay? You’re doing this for me, and I understand that. But do you really hope that I and Ye Mingxin still end up divorcing?”
Shen Sangluo choked at her words. Her passionate voice suddenly weakened. “Of course not…”
Although she didn’t like Ye Mingxin, she could see that Ye Mingxin was truly repentant. She was very impressed by the fact that Ye Mingxin was willing to retire from the entertainment industry and focus on her family instead. In addition, Han Feixu had fallen in love with Ye Mingxin all over again. Since there were no big, irreversible flaws and the two of them were truly in love, she naturally wouldn’t go out of her way to persuade her best friend to get a divorce.
“Then can you help me think about if I did anything wrong in the past?”
Shen Sangluo fell silent. She tried to recall for a long time, but finally gave up. “I can’t remember. You didn’t talk to me at the time, so how would I know where you went wrong? And are you sure you were in the wrong? Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong at all!”
Han Feixu was very determined, however, “It’s impossible. I’m not a saint after all. How could I never have made a mistake in our relationship? Think about it carefully. Even though we didn’t talk much back then, you are one of the only people in this world who knows me best so you must be able to think of something.”
Shen Sangluo glanced at her sideways. “One of? I remember that I was the only one before, but this time I’m just one of?”
Han Feixu smiled in a flattering manner, “Ye Mingxin also knows me well too, but she’s not as honest as you are. If I ask her where I went wrong, she’ll definitely say to me in a very gentle voice, ‘How could you ever do wrong? You’re always the best no matter what you do.’”
Shen Sangluo curled her lip in disgust. “Anyone can say sweet nothings like that…ah, forget it, I’ll think about it again.”
If she put aside her friendship filter, Shen Sangluo could really come up with a few ideas, but they were still just guesses. “The first thing I can think of is that you left without saying goodbye. Although it seemed understandable at the time, since Ye Mingxin had a scandal and all, it was no wonder you left in a huff. But now we know that her scandal was fake, and not real at all. But you left for five years, and for the first six months, Ye Mingxin couldn’t find you. You were like a ghost that had disappeared from the world. Speaking of which, I should also reflect on myself. From my own perspective I didn’t worry about you because I knew you’re fine and safe. But Ye Mingxin didn’t know that. She was so worried that she was about to go crazy and searched everywhere for you. At that time, I thought she was making a big deal out of nothing. But now that I think about it, if I put myself in her shoes, I would’ve gone even crazier if I didn’t know what happened to you.”
After she said that, Han Feixu felt a little guilty, but that wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear. “Was there anything else?”
“The second thing I can think of is your temper. And you should know it well. Your temper is so extreme that once triggered even eight horses can’t pull you back. I don’t ever want to see you angry again. It’s like you’re about to eat someone. I’m not just saying that, I really think so. By the way, didn’t you say you have foreign blood? Could it be that you’re descended from the Donner family?”
The Donner family was the most famous in American History for the cannibalism that occurred during their migration to the west.
“….”
While Shen Sangluo had asked her sincerely, it only made Han Feixu want to slap her. Seeing Han Feixu about to hit her, Shen Sangluo nimbly dodged. “You’re the one who asked me to speak truthfully. Think about it, we’ve been good friends for ten years, and you’ve only gotten really angry at me once. That one time was enough to scare me to death. Yet you and Ye Mingxin have argued so many times. That globe tongue of yours can bring the dead back to life and can surely make Ye Mingxin angry beyond belief. This should also be something you did wrong, right?”
Han Feixu reluctantly nodded. “Then what else? Is there anything else?”
“Let me think. Oh right, there’s one more thing,””After saying this, Shen Sangluo hesitated for a moment, and then continued: “I don’t know if it counts, but after you came back to China, we talked about the name of Yiyi once. Do you know what you told me?”
Han Feixu looked at her curiously. “What did I say?”
Shen Sangluo found it funny and laughed twice. “You told me that you gave Yiyi that nickname just to annoy Ye Mingxin, something about how she would feel complicated and conflicted when she hears the name Yiyi.”
Han Feixu didn’t understand what was so infuriating about the name when Shen Sangluo saw her stupefied expression and said, “Idiot, isn’t there a Yi in Lin Yi? And Ye Mingxin has always been jealous of your relationship with Lin Yi?”
Han Feixu blinked her eyes and finally understood. She nodded in realization. “So that’s what you meant.”
After hearing the first two things, Han Feixu knew that it was possible she did those things but the third thing was definitely not possible. She couldn’t have just given her daughter a name related to an outsider just to anger Ye Mingxin.
She told Shen Sangluo the real meaning of the name she learned from Ye Mingxin, and the latter understood. “Then angering Ye Mingxin is just an additional perk to the name.”
It’s not like they were playing a game, so who cares about an additional perk? Han Feixu continued to ask, “Is there anything else?”
It was already hard enough for her to come up with these two things, so Shen Sangluo shook her head. “I can’t think of anything else.”
Then, she looked at Han Feixu in confusion. “Why do you have to know if you did something wrong?”
Han Feixu shrank back into the sofa. She was wearing a knitted sweater today with very long sleeves so when she pulled her hands back, a long sleeve of fabric covered them. “Because I want to do something about my marriage. I can’t always let Ye Mingxin do all the hard work. Marriage is a matter between two people and if only one side makes an effort while the other side only reaps the benefits, there will be other problems sooner or later.”
Han Feixu’s voice was quiet, but anyone could hear the sincerity in her voice. Shen Sangluo’s gaze softened. So it seems her friend is still an adult in the end. She knows that one has to work hard for their own happiness.
She patted Han Feixu’s knee and spoke in a gentle voice. “Just be yourself and be more considerate to Ye Mingxin, and try to think about things from her perspective. Then you won’t have so many conflicts.”
But Han Feixu shook her head. “You don’t understand. If it was as easy as you said, I would have done that a long time ago. But the problem is, I always feel like there’s something else between us that we haven’t solved.”
Shen Sangluo was puzzled. “What is it?”
Han Feixu couldn’t say for sure. “I feel like there’s a wall between me and her, but I don’t know what it is.”
Shen Sangluo fell silent for a moment, “What’s the use of asking me about this kind of thing? I’m not her so how could I know what’s between you two? Just ask her again. Didn’t she promise she wouldn’t hide anything from you ever again? Just let her tell you everything.”
“This is different,” Han Feixu furrowed her brows, “So that’s why I was wondering if I did something wrong for her to always be like..that.”
Shen Sangluo’s patience was starting to run out, “Just give it to me straight, she’s always like what? If you hesitate again, believe it or not I won’t let you eat anymore chips.”
“She rarely says ‘I love you’ to me.” Han Feixu says seriously.
Just that? Shen Sangluo felt as if she was scammed, “That’s nothing. Some people are just not good at expressing themselves in words. My parents’ generation never said that sentence in their entire lives. Does that mean there’s a problem between them? Chinese people are reserved in the first place and are embarrassed to say such things.”
Han Feixu straightened her back and said seriously, “No, she’s not embarrassed to say it, she just doesn’t say it often. And every time she says it, she will then either kiss me immediately, until I’m dizzy, and then let go or she’ll say so many love words that my bones turn soft and I forget what I was going to say.”
“….”
Shen Sangluo looked at her with a blank face, “Are you trying to show off to me?”
“Who’s trying to show off? What I’m trying to say is that she seems to be interrupting me on purpose and tries to block my mouth from saying it back.”
Shen Sangluo thought about it for a while but still didn’t understand, “So what? Perhaps she’s blocking your mouth because she doesn’t want you to say anything embarrassing.”
After all, someone like Han Feixu who never focuses on the key points has a 80% chance of saying something that’ll ruin the mood = =
Shen Sangluo had just said it casually, but Han Feixu clapped her hands excitedly. “That’s it! I think this might be the case, that she doesn’t want me to talk because she doesn’t want to hear me say things she doesn’t like. But I don’t want to say anything else, I just want to tell her how much I love her.”
Shen Sangluo nodded. “Then just tell her. You just have to tell her directly. By the way, have you ever said to her…”
Han Feixu looked at her inquiringly, and Shen Sangluo paused, “Those three words.”
Han Feixu bit her lip. “Not directly, but I’ve always wanted to say it. I just couldn’t find the right atmosphere or opportunity. And when I did find the right time, she would just stop me again.
As she spoke, Han Feixu raised her eyes. “What about you? Have you told Jiang Lingyan yet?”
Shen Sangluo immediately laughed exaggeratedly. “Please, how could I say that? I’m not the same as you. You actually love Ye Mingxin.”
Han Feixu followed up with her words. “So you don’t love her?”
Shen Sangluo stammered. “Um, well, that’s not it….”
Han Feixu looked at her calmly. “So you do sincerely love her?”
“I don’t know about sincere, that word doesn’t suit me. And you know, there’s more than one side to everything so for me I-I….” After rambling and racking her brains for a while, Shen Sangluo couldn’t decide what to say so she simply patted the sofa, “Why are you always dragging me into this? Let’s talk about you. Come, let’s sum up our conversation. So, Ye Mingxin doesn’t want to hear you say ‘I love you’ or something similar to her, then what?”
Han Feixu lowered her eyes and pinched her fingers. “Do you think it’s because she might think that I don’t love her back?”
Ye Mingxin had revealed such thoughts before. At that time, she refuted it and said she liked her, but Ye Mingxin just smiled and the matter was dropped. She thought that perhaps Ye Mingxin had changed her mind and understood her, but it seemed that there was still a thorn in her heart. Han Feixu felt that if she didn’t pull this thorn out, Ye Mingxin would never believe Han Feixu’s feelings for her.
Shen Sangluo frowned, “You’re exaggerating. How could she think that way? Would someone who didn’t love her be willing to marry her, have a daughter with her, and sleep in the same as her for six years?”
However, what she said did stir up some memories in Shen Sangluo’s head. When Han Feixu suddenly disappeared, Ye Mingxin came to see her. At that time, she looked a little desperate but not because she couldn’t find a certain someone. No, it was a type of desperation and despair that Han Feixu will never come back to her again.
So in terms of emotions and relationships, Ye Mingxin did seem to be a bit self-deprecating and had low self-esteem in herself, but why was that?
Shen Sangluo shook her head and stopped thinking about it, “In my opinion, if your intuition is right, then it doesn’t mean she thinks you don’t love her, I think it means she thinks you don’t like her as much as she loves you. You should just tell her directly and express your feelings a few times. Slowly brainwash her until her thinking changes.”
That’s the only way after all.
Han Feixu didn’t say anything more. Shen Sangluo placed the snacks beside their legs onto the coffee table before standing up, “Let’s go to sleep. You have a movie to film tomorrow and I have work. Everyone is busy after all.”
As soon as Shen Sangluo stood up, Han Feixu called out her name. She turned around and Han Feixu said quietly to her, “You’ve told me so much, so I feel that I must give you a reminder as well. Love is not a timeless item, it is a consumable.”
“Even those who maintain it daily can have their love crumble, let alone those who constantly neglect it. Director Jiang is also a woman who has emotional needs. If you keep going like this, day by day, you may one day find that her feelings for you will be fully exhausted.”
Shen Sangluo’s expression changed, and Han Feixu stood up with a smile, “Let’s go to bed. You better not snore later, or I may kick you out of bed.”
“….”
As the two went to sleep, two other people were currently drinking one shot after another at a certain pub.
As long as it was only cocktails, Ye Mingxin can drink it by the bucket without a single change in expression. Of course, she still needs to go to the bathroom a few times = =
Jiang LingYuan made a disgusted face and repeated her words, “That’s the eight glass now. Our store has a rule that for every eighth drink, the next drink will double in price. Also, if the manager is personally serving it, the cost will rise exponentially.”
Ye Mingxin nodded seriously, “That’s fine, your sister is treating me today.”
Seeing that Ye Mingxin was not easily fooled, Jiang LingYuan snorted and ran to the opposite side of the bar to greet some other guests.
Jiang Lingyan watched as her little sister skillfully greeted the guests and couldn’t help but sigh, “I feel a special sense of accomplishment when I see her like this. It feels like I’ve trained a baby Godzilla into a Labrador service dog. It’s simply a miracle.”
Ye Mingxin didn’t give her any face as she replied, “Stop praising her. Your sister is a husky at best, and not a purebred one at that. While other huskies have three markings on their head, she only has two and it spells out the word ‘Second’ as well.”
Jiang Lingyan: “….”
“What about your younger brother? He’s an adult now and he still watches cartoons every day. When Naruto was finished, he posted his grief over it finishing for six days straight on WeChat. When I saw his Luffy avatar, I got worried. Everyone has a chuunibyou phase, but isn’t his a little too long? It’s fine for teenagers to like such hot-blooded comics, but why is he still joining in on the fun? Believe it or not, but I bet that if you call him right now and ask him what his dream is, he’ll still say, ‘To save the world!’ or something like that.”
Ye Mingxin had nothing to say. The real reason Ye Mingde was working in renewable energy and finding new energy types was not to make money nor because he was interested in seeing the development prospects of renewable energy, but because he felt that he could save the world like an anime protagonist = =
As the eldest son of Kangxuan Group, his dream in life is to save the world and his highest goal in life is to win the Nobel Peace Prize. No one would dare believe this if the news broke out.
“Compared with your sister, my brother’s IQ is at least online, and he hasn’t caused any trouble for the family. He doesn’t need his older sister to help him solve his problems all the time.”
“Please, do you really have the nerve to say that? His IQ may be online, but his EQ is the Tarim Basin.”
“Your sister is not much better. If my brother is the Tarim Basin, your sister is the Mariana Trench.”
“And your brother is at the bottom of the earth’s core.”
Ye Mingxin opened her mouth to argue with her again, but after thinking for a long time, she couldn’t think of anything lower than the earth’s core, so after a brief silence, she said, “Forget it, after all is said and done, neither of them are doing good.”
Jiang Lingyan also fell silent. “Maybe the experts are right about the second child always having problems in terms of intellectual and psychological development.”
Jiang LingYuan couldn’t stand to listen anymore, she came over with a wine bottle held tightly in one hand, “And you think your firstborns don’t have any problems?! You! You’re a psychopathic control freak, And you! You’re a petty, arrogant, and self-righteous bastard! Don’t think can distort the truth and do whatever you want just because you are a few years older than me. Compared to you two, I am a heavenly fairy, alright?!”
Ye Mingxin laughed softly without speaking, while Jiang Lingyan raised her eyebrows, “Oh? Then dare I ask the heavenly fairy, why are you still a single virgin at your age?”
Jiang LingYuan: “…..”
Are you still my sister?! Why do you only know how to poke the sore spots in your little sister’s heart?!